Friday, February 29, 2008
Nader picks Matt Gonzalez as veep
By ANN SANNER, Associated Press WriterThu Feb 28, 1:41 PM ET
Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader selected Matt Gonzalez, a former member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, to be his running mate.
"I want someone who shares my sense of justice and opposition to corporate state control over our society," Nader said Thursday at a news conference announcing his choice. Nader launched his White House bid last weekend.
The Texas-born Gonzalez ran for mayor of San Francisco as a Green Party candidate in 2003 but lost to Gavin Newsom.
Gonzalez said he recognized the difficulties of winning the presidential election.
"I have no illusions about what's happening here today," Gonzalez said. "But let me also say that I've never entered a political contest with the idea that it couldn't be won."
Nader, the longtime consumer advocate, sought the White House in each of the last three presidential elections: He ran on the Green Party ticket in 1996 and 2000, and as an independent in 2004.
On Thursday, he said he would not be seeking the Green Party nomination, noting that the party has four announced candidates.
"We think that there is plenty of room in this country for parallel progressive candidates," he said.
Nader is still loathed by many Democrats who call him a spoiler and claim his candidacy in 2000 cost Democrats the election by siphoning votes from Al Gore in a razor-thin contest in Florida. Nader has vociferously disputed the spoiler claim, saying only Democrats are to blame for losing the race to George W. Bush.
Though he won 2.7 percent of the national vote as the Green Party candidate in 2000, Nader won just 0.3 percent as an independent in 2004, when he appeared on the ballot in only 34 states.
...Can we just get Ralph to go back to telling us which car has the best seat belts? Please, Ralph. Sit down. Your ego is showing.
Holyfield would consider Tyson fight
Feb 28, 11:50 am EST
LONDON (Ticker) - Evander Holyfield claims he could meet old foe Mike Tyson for a third time despite both former undisputed world heavyweight champions being in their 40s.
Holyfield beat Tyson in 1996 and 1997 - the second courtesy of Tyson’s infamous disqualification for biting a chunk out of his opponent’s ear - and both men have made several questionable comebacks in recent years.
However Holyfield, 45, has revealed he is considering an offer from 41-year-old Tyson’s camp to meet in the ring for a third time.
“There has been some talk between us,” Holyfield told The Guardian newspaper in London.
“Mike had Jeff Fenech, who’s been training him, call me a few months ago. Jeff says Mike wants to fight me again - but he needs to know if I would agree to it.
Holyfield said he sought assurances that Tyson would turn up and fight.
“I said, ‘It all depends on what they are going to give us - because I’m gonna catch a lot of flak if I say I’m fighting Mike Tyson again. I’ve already said I don’t want to fight Mike no more’,” he added.
“Jeff says, ‘What if Mike gets in proper shape?’ I told him that’s OK but I can’t be part of it if Mike’s going to pull out. Jeff said, ‘The main thing Mike wants to know is if you would be willing to fight him again?’ I said, ‘Yeah, if the price is right, I probably would’.”
The password is YIKES! This proves that boxing is ABSOLUTELY dead. If anybody needs me, I'll be watching that organized bar fight that is Mixed Martial Arts.
Casting Director Asks for "Inbred"-Looking Extras, Is Fired
Sweeeeeeeeeeet! So what does the casting notice read now?...
Looking for REEEEEEEEEEEALLY ugly people... not normal ugly... but extra special ugly... like, "Whoah, my mom is attractive!" ugly.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
| Printed from the East Bay Express Web site: |
East Bay Express
Comedian Tries to End Racism in an Hour
W. Kamau Bell's solo performance aims to preach to the alerted.
By Rachel Swan
February 27, 2008
W. Kamau Bell finally meets the Man.
Comedian W. Kamau Bell enjoys comparing himself to P. Diddy on Making the Band 4, now that he's teaching three solo performance classes in San Francisco, which is tantamount to working on three albums concurrently. "I'm like the Bay Area's P. Diddy, except I don't do music, and I use the word 'bitch-ass-ness,'" he said. Still, Bell's greatest claim to fame — besides ten years in the stand-up comedy business and seven years directing other people's solo theater works — is his new one-man show The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour. Conceived last April, the show combines personal anecdotes — like Bell's childhood belief that if you put a black person and a white person together, the baby would come out Chinese — with wry observations about the world. "Every now and then I'll say something like 'Look, everybody, I'm not trying to be Martin Luther King Jr.,'" Bell said. "The show's about ending racism in an hour, but I'm not trying to go up there and be the example. I'm saying things that are true to my experiences and letting them bounce off your head."
Marketing solo performance is a lot harder than stand-up comedy, said Bell, since the idea has to sell itself. You can't just say, "I'm gonna do a one-person show about racism"; you have to have some kind of twist on it. In this case, the "ending racism in about an hour" part is what initially piques people's interest, and the hook is that if you bring a friend of a different race, the friend gets in free. Bell said he'd pull a deal like that even for a one-man show about Martha Stewart. "The audience of all one group is generally a dumber audience, because they only want to hear things from their perspective. When you mix it all up, the audience gets more intelligent." Bell insists that for comedy to really work, you have to rest assured that your audience can hang along with you. "I spent my whole career, on bills where I was the only black person, and I'd have to convince people in the audience that racism even existed," he said. "People would people be like, 'Come on, racism? That's soooo late-20th century. Once I had the show, I get people who are already alerted to the thing. They're already thinking about it before they walk in the door." Thus, he concluded: "It's not preaching to the converted. It's preaching to the alerted." Directed by Martha Rynberg and produced by Bruce Patchman and Lisa Marie Rollins, The W. Kamau Bell Curve runs Saturday and Sunday, March 1 and 2 at Jewish Community Center of the East Bay (1414 Walnut St., Berkeley). 8 p.m., $15-$20. MySpace.com/wkbonline
For more infromation on bitch-ass-ness see below.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Bounty hunter's TV show to resumeSat Feb 23, 2:33 AM PST
HONOLULU (AP) -- TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman is preparing a return to the airwaves.
The Chapman family confirmed Thursday that filming is set to resume on the A&E show "Dog the Bounty Hunter." The show features Chapman and crew in pursuit of bail jumpers in Hawaii and other states.
It was the highest rated show on A&E before the network pulled it off the air in November. Chapman was heard in a taped phone conversation using a racial slur in reference to his son's black girlfriend.
Chapman has apologized and tried to make amends with the network and the black community.
Network officials says that since the show is about second chances, they decided to accept his apology and resume production. No air date has been announced.
Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
1. I think it is hilarious that the article says "a racial slur in reference to his son's black girlfriend". If there was ever a time to just call a spade a "nigger", this is it.
2. "Chapman has apologized and tried to make amends with the network and with the black community"? Well, clearly he has made amends with THE NETWORK (which is a code word for RICH WHITE PEOPLE), BUUUUUUUUUUUUT I don't remember getting my meeting with Dog. When did he stop by? Did I miss it? I'm usually home during the day. I must've stepped out for a second to buy some bananas.3. The good news for Michael Richards is with Imus getting his job back and Dog back on TV, the "Seinfeld" reunion can't be that far off.
Cody To Wear Million Dollar Shoes to Oscars
Ok... I'm not normally THIS PERSON --- the person who gets all twisted by the excesses of capitalism. I have watched Pimp My Ride and MTV Cribs and marveled and laughed and gawked with the best and the rest of them.) But MILLION DOLLAR SHOES?! It obviously goes without saying (but here I go) that the only reason these shows exist is so that articles would be written and TV commentators would say things like, "I couldn't even afford one shoe BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" And also they were made so that we could all go, "Golly gee! The stars sure are better than us!"
The same people who participate on all this Oscar night commerce (I've already started hearing about those fucking goodie bags.) are the same people who CLAIM that they care about global warming. Isn't all this stuff related? Needless product manufacture AND the ozone layer? And remember when they cared about the war in Iraq? Ahhhh... two years ago... A simpler time.
And no, it doesn't help to mention that she used to be a stripper. Not even a little bit... Although it does make me wonder if the heels are clear (That's a Chris Rock reference for all you uninitiated.)
P.S. Does anybody think this is even more disturbing since she wrote the teen pregnancy movie?
P.P.S. This is what happens in a world without superheroes. If people could fly and shoot laser out of their eyes, we wouldn't care about million dollar shoes.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Seriously, I'm not wearing socks anymore. And the people in the coffee shop are PISSED.
The interviewer CLEARLY is trying to play the uninformed Negro card, but this dude is having NONE of that. Enjoy...
Here's more from this dude...
So I nominate Derrick for President!
Oops, I can't. He's an immigrant. To paraphrase my friend and fellow comic Jim Short, "Thanks a lot, LAND OF OPPORTUNITY!"
Sunday, February 17, 2008
My video is featured on YouTube pt. 2 OR Nobody can tell my that there's no such thing a racism ever again.
My video was featured on YouTube and what it has done is opened up a torrent of race baiting and ignorance in my direction, the likes of which I have never seen in my lifetime and I have lived in Alabama, Philadelphia, and The South Side of Chicago. I know I can disable the comments but that seems like the coward's way out. If I am to do a show about racism in the 21st century I might as well take this unexpected scenario to experience some. It's interesting to me because I was always stunned to hear that Hank Aaron saved all of his hate mail, and yet I find myself in the position of doing the same. (Although I deleted the first nigger comment.) Being featured on YouTube should be some sort of confirmation of job well done I guess, but it feels like grist for the already full mill. I am angry, frustrated, and my heart rate is up, and I feel like starting a fire.
The thing that most frustrates me is that I NEVER thought that what I do is for EVERYBODY, and yet now I am getting comments from every 15 year old virgin and 50 year old... well also virgin... on the Internet. It is ignorant and excessive AND I KNOW that NONE of them would EVER say these things to my face, and that's not just because I am a 6'4" black dude. It's because they wouldn't say it to ANYBODY. Because if they did say it in public as much as they say it on the Internet, then America would be one unending bar fight. (At least the people in bar fights have the courage of their convictions. To think I wanted to end racism and it seems that I have made it more manifest and thereby worse.
In conclusion, I don't normally get inspiration from this guy, but today it feels like the hug I need...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Here it is!
Feel free to go to YouTube and post comments saying I'm awesome in order to combat 15 year ols from Nebraska who think it sucks cuz nobody is getting kicked in the nuts.
Special thanks to Mark Day for helping make this happen.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
He and his wife Rachel own a bookstore in Oak Park, Illinois named The Booktable. It is relatively small BUT PAAAAAAAAAACKED to the rafters with books. And you may ask yourself, "Self, why in the world would I buy a book from a store and NOT online at a HUUUUUUUUUGE discount?"
Well first of all, why do you call yourself "Self"?
Second of all, unlike every other bookstore that sells new books on the planet at The Booktable EVERY BOOK IS AT LEAST 20% OFF! Even the new books! Take that, you independent bookseller who things I should shop locally even though you could give two shits about me!
Third of all, you can buy books from them online at www.thebooktable.net
Congratulations, Jason & Rachel. I can't wait to be put to work next time I'm in town.
Then watch THIS!
Then watch THIS!
Then wrap it all up with THIS!
Yes WE can!
Yes SHE can!
A black president AND female dunker?! Didn't Nostradamus mention this stuff?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
That time in Chicago watching those teams were some of the best and most thrilling times of my life. The Bulls coach, Phil Jackson often compared Michael Jordan to Michelangelo. I don't think that's inaccurate. Although, Michel never dunked on Dikembe Mutumbo and THEN waved his finger, soo maybe Michael was better,
BUT ANYWAY... I am both excited by Barack's continued ALMOST success. (It's not real success until he's in The White House. Moral or pyrrhic victories don't count for black people the way they used to. The way they did with Jesse Jackson and Shirley Chisholm in '72.)
AND I am excited to see what happens in The Western Conference of The NBA with all the big trades of late: Pau ("I don't need no stinkin' L!) Gasol to The Lakers AND Shaquille O'Neal to The Phoenix Suns AND as of today Ason Kidd (He could use a J.) to The Dallas Mavericks. Who would've ever thought that Jason Kidd would WANT to go back to Dallas? He ran the hell out of there just eleven short years ago. And now he's happily back.
And yet, I stil don't think it's going to be enough to stop The Lakers... I can't believe after everything Kobe could be a world champion again. Although if I had to choose between that and Hillary as president... Well... I'm thinking.
This is like the scene in Rocky IV where Gorbachev turns and looks at Drago's Trainer in disgust.
Does anybody else think that it's a failure of the Electoral College that Hillary Clinton can basically skip several states primaries in order to FOCUS ON the good delegates of Texas and Ohio? Make no mistake, here. It's not the people who are important. It's the delegates. I don't blame Hillary. I blame US for letting this be the case.
Anybody know how to get a good electoral college riot started?
Ummm... in the same country that has both the disaster of the response to Hurricane Katrina AND The Jena Six... and that is just from one state. There is NO WAY that someone as rich and successful as this woman can be an American Tragedy.
Let's get this straight, she is a 26 year old white trash woman from a small town with two kids, an ex-husband and a drug problem. That's a tragedy for her family and friends. But that's NOT an American tragedy. That's just plain ole America.
P.S. Here is the cover of the first Rolling Stone. Yes, that is John Lennon. WHUTHAPPEN?
When I was in high school, I was a fan of Andrew Dice Clay. One of my friends (I think it was Rob.) had a copy of his debut album called... Dice. It was a big deal at the time. It was produced by Rick Rubin who was the co-founder of Def Jam Records with Russell Simmons. Rick and Russell are basically responsible for the business of rap. They discovered The Beastie Boys and LL Cool J, Public Enemy AND Oran "I saw YOU... and him... walkin' in the rain." Jones. At the time, Rick Rubin looked like this...
And now he looks like THIS!
THIS guy produces Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Dixie Chicks, Metallica, Justin Timberlake, U2, Neil Diamond, and Johnny Cash's last 5 albums.
But back in the late 80's, he produced Andrew Dice Clay a comic from Brooklyn who was born Andrew Silverstein. And in high school me and my group of friends (who were entirely Jewish --- except for me) thought he was HILARIOUS. In fact Dice's second album (or actually cassette tape) was one of the handful of comedy performances that made me want to do comedy. And YES, Dice was (and is) totally insulting, sexist, racist, homophobic. (He was everything but anti-Semitic. --- Hmmm? Curious?) I cant really explain why we liked him other than the flush of teenage hormones and... well, that's probably plenty. Well here was Dice then.
And NOW! YIKES!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
This thought came to me relatively late in life. I was like 17 at the time. Before that I was purely TV. In my house TV was like the radio. it was always on. I didn't have time or interest in music. Not that there wasn't music in my house or life. Mostly I remember my mom CRANKING up the X-Mas carols and I remember long car rides listening to AM radio... Stevie Wonder and Jim Croce are the two that immediately come to mind for some reason. I also remember late nights where my mom would make me listen to classical music radio in order to fall asleep, because Boston's Kiss FM (Does every city have a Kiss FM at some point?) was only keeping me awake.
Anyway, recently it's been LOTS 'O Living Colour. I think it has something to do with my show. Living Colour seems to summon up the appropriate level of black rage mixed with intellect and scathing criticism that I need to pull off ending racism in about an hour.
So in honor of the valuable inspiration that Living Colour is giving me, I am supplying my ultimate Living Colour concert set list. (Special Note: I've probably seen Living Colour in concert 10 times... Which is alot for most casual music listeners, but only about a week of shows if you spent the 90's following the Grateful Dead on tour.)
The following list is IN ORDER
1.Cult of Personality (The radio hit... Now featured in Guitar Hero III)
2. Time's Up
3. Pride (This is the song that changed the course of my life.)
4. Never Satisfied
5. Desperate People
7. Funny Vibe
8. Information Overload (Rarely played live... Clearly one of their BEST SONGS!)
9. Money Talks (I've only heard this live on a bootleg. If I heard it live I'd better have a change of pants.)
10. Sailin' On (Bad Brains Cover)
11. Go Away
12. Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Clash Cover)
13. Love & Happiness (Al Green Cover)
14. Tomorrow Never Knows (Beatles Cover)
15. Solace of You
16. Fight The Fight
17. Which Way To America
So there you go. I'm embarrassed to tell you how long that took me. This set is long on the first two albums and short on the last two, probably because those two were soooooo much more important to me. All the covers are songs that Living Colour actually has covered. The only song I chose from their new album is The Beatles cover. That list may not mean much to you, but it makes me happy. Use your own band. Make your own list. Post it here if you want.
Now, I'm off to watch The Live Living Colour DVD that I got from Netflix AGAIN.
This is the song that changed my life. This is a fan made video that is cheesy and excellent at the same time. Bonus points if you find the image of my OTHER favorite band.
P.S. All praises due to Rob Nasatir who introduced me to Living Colour one night via a cassette tape in his parents' car in the parking lot of a record store. I jusrt remember being like, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
P.P.S. Vernon Reid is the guitarist from Living Colour. He hugged me after a show one time when I told him that he helped me understand what it is to be black.
P.P.P.S When I was 20 (20!) I went to a Living Colour Concert by myself (Thanks, Jason). It was around the time that Eric Clapton's song Tears in Heaven was all over the radio. I made an EXTREMELY crappy T-shirt with fabric paint that said, "Clapton is Pop. Vernon is GOD!" Vernon signed it after the show even though I didn't ask him to. Sweeeeeeeeeet. I don't knwo where that shirt is. Mom, do you know?
P.P.P.P.S. I FULLY believe that one day I will be the producer of a Living Colour Album.
P.P.P.P.P.S. This is live performance from The Arsenio Hall Show. THAT'S RIGHT I SAID THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW!!! Awesome.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Oh and also, Barack and Hillary continued to stage their political reenactment of Rocky IV.
We are currently in the montage part of the movie. This is where, late in the fight, Drago and Rocky trade fierce, pummeling blows to the tune of an Orchestrated Rocky Theme.
Rocky has earned his Drago's respect, but Drago is still an inhuman machine who will cheat to win and is fighting for an evil empire.
Can you tell who's who in my scenario? I'm trying my best to obscure the metaphor.
P.S. My friend, who supports Barack, put it best. He said, "I can't believe Barack is doing so well, and yet, I am still incredibly disappointed."
P.P.S. Dammit, I love YouTube!
The W. Kamau Bell Curve at The JCC East Bay March 1st & 2nd tickets still available.
--- is that people who see the show end up sending me anecdotes and examples of racist things they have encountered since seeing the show.
I have received an assortment of racism... like a See's Candy Box (or Fanny Mae Candy Box, if you're from The Midwest).
My favorite was the unfortunate story of "The Time That I was Playing Scrabble Online and The Highest Scoring Play Was The Word Nigger" by Brian Rosen (white guy). I'm a big time Scrabble player and I would have played it. Brian didn't. I think THAT is racist.
But many of them are just racist jokes or inappropriate comments or things that make you go, "Ugh!"
But this latest one, texted to me from my good friend and fake manager takes the racist cake...
Drum roll please....
There is a bad of four white guys from Atlanta Georgia called....
The Black Lips.
Don't believe me? here's their MySpace page. Here's their blog. And here's their Wikipedia Entry.
This just where racism turns the page into absolute stoopidity. Of all the names to name your stupid indie band, WHY "The Black Lips"? Cuz you're soooooooooo cooooooooooool that it's clearly meant to be ironic?
*said like Steve Martin's classic catchphrase "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"
If I was 10% less full of shit I wouldn't just tell jokes about this shit, I would pull a Doobie Brothers and TAKE IT TO THE STREETS!
Are they a good band? Find out for yourself...
P.S. I don't even have a Wikipedia Entry. Hint. Hint.
P.P.S. The Black Lips are playing for free at Amoeba Records on Friday. I have half a mind to... nevermind.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Here it is... And I don't need to tell you what the phrase is. It's pretty obvious the phrase that P Tastic wants us all to repeat...
Do you have IT in YOU?
It ain't Gatorade. It's from the makers of Haterade.
And more importantly... Would you buy it on OFFICIALLY LICENSED Bad Boy Merchandise?
Monday, February 4, 2008
Siskel & Negro
If you've never listened to us. Do yourselves (& us) a favor. Check it out and let me (& RooftopComedy.com) know what you think.
This taking over the world that I'm doing is a multi-layered, multi-level process.
Hop on board.
While both Ike and Bobby made HUUUUUUUUUGE contributions to their respective fields --- Bobby Knight as a Hall of Fame college basketball coach who has the record for the most wins in Division I NCAA Men's Basketball (902) and Ike Turner as one of the inventors of Rock & Roll (if you don't know check out the seminal track Rocket '88), both men have left a murky legacy. Both made historic talent discoveries: Bobby with two time NBA World Champion and Hall of Famer, Isaiah Thomas and Ike with of course Rock and Roll Legend (That's right I said ROCK & ROLL legend!) Tina Turner. However, both also have reputation for... well... How do I say this?... GOING UPSIDE THEIR PEOPLE'S HEADS!
This is such a sticky wicket. My friend Martha won't listen to Miles Davis because of his ADMITTED history of domestic violence. This is completely understandable. However my mom knows the same stuff about him and continues to listen. And I guess that is also completely understandable. Both my mom and Martha are strong independent women who don't make decisions like this without thinking. Where does the artist end and the person begin? And if the the person is a dick ("Dick" meaning abuser of women in Ike & Miles cases or boys in Bobby Knight & *insert Michael Jackson joke here* cases.), but what if their art is revolutionary? In modern society there is no way to not know what a celebrity's every move is But back in the day nobody knew nothing about Babe Ruth except that he hit the ball real hard and far.
Which is better? Which is worst?
I guess what I'm trying to say to Bobby Knight and Ike Turner is...
"Rest in peace???"
P.S. The record for the most wins in Division I NCAA Basketball is held by Pat Summitt with 966 and counting. All the wins are with The Tennessee WOMEN'S basketball team. And she never hit nobody.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The following was cut and pasted from The Relix site...
"Galactic drummer Stanton Moore has recently completed a series of studio sessions with Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello and rapper Boots Riley. The unlikely trio are scheduled to release the project under the name the Street Sweeper via Epic Records this spring. As first reported by New Orleans’ The Times-Picayune, Moore first met Morello at a November 2006 Future of Music Coalition benefit concert held at Tipitina's and the new friends first bonded while standing at the bar of Ernie K-Doe's Mother-in-Law Lounge. Meanwhile, Boots Riley is one of the many MCs who appeared on Galactic’s 2007 hip-hop disc, From the Corner to the Block.
Morello recently reunited with his Rage Against the Machine bandmates for a series of shows, including an appearance at October’s Vegoose (an event which is co-produced by Galactic managers Superfly Presents). The guitarist also performed at Bonnaroo as The Nightwatchman."
Jason constantly promotes The Coup in much the same way in high school he promoted The Grateful Dead, Frank Zappa, and... Well, I guess that was pretty much it. Much in the same way in high school I promoted... Well, pretty much just Bruce Lee. Anyway we both agreed on Rage Against The Machine, although I'm sure that they are not ranked on his best bands of all time list. (They are ranked on mine.) And I'm sure we both agreed that Audioslave SUUUUUUUUCKED... although I don't think we discussed it... not necessary. So this sounds cool... Although that was the same thing I thought when I heard about Audioslave. The adult contemporary Rock & Roll of Audioslave was sooooooooooo milquetoast that it convinced me that Rage's rage was really just Zack de la Rocha. Well, Boots Riley is certainly pissed off so this could be grrrrrrrrreat.
Although I am still holding out hope for a new Rage CD... Crap.
P.P.S. Fine. My list of most greatest bands/musicians of all time in no order, because that would be stupid... and too difficult.
Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane, Rage Against The Machine, Living Colour, Fishbone, 24-7 Spyz, Urban Dance Squad