The W. Kamau Bell Curve IS BACK!

Racism can't keep me and The Curve away...

Every Thursday for six weeks May 8 through June 12 at The Shelton Theater.

The W. Kamau Bell Curve

RETURNS

Now with 37% more Barack Obama!

JUST LIKE LED ZEPPELIN, skinny jeans, and The Boston Celtics, racism continues to make a comeback in America. White people haven’t talked this bad about un-white people since Martin Luther King had that dream. And since The W. Kamau Bell Curve opened last October to end racism in about an hour, racism has redoubled its efforts. First the co-discoverer of DNA said that Europeans are smarter than Africans. Then Dog The Bounty Hunter tried to break Michael Richards record for the most ‘N’ words. Then an unknown golf commentator told a good old-fashioned lynching joke about her friend Tiger Woods. And recently it’s become trendy to say, “I hate China!” And somehow in the middle of all this, America might elect its first black president… unless Fox News has something to say about it. (See Fox’s coverage of Jeremiah Wright.) Well, W. Kamau Bell is mad as hell and he's not going smile politely anymore as his un-black friends go, "Sarah Silverman isn’t racist. She’s ironic." "The W. Kamau Bell Curve" is one part diatribe, one part manifesto, and several parts funny. And now that "The Curve" has moved from monthly to weekly, it will change as quickly as the world around it does. It will be a fresh as the news it skewers. And as always...

Bring a Friend of a Different Race and get in 2FOR1.

This past winter, The W. Kamau Bell Curve played to sold out houses at The Shelton Theater in San Francisco as well as the Jewish Community Center in Berkeley. And now it's back by popular demand and critical acclaim...

FROM THE PRESS

"W. Kamau Bell plays against type and comes with not only the insights you wish you had spewed first but also the wit."

--- Kimberly Chun, The SF Bay Guardian

"Smart, stylish, and very much in the mold of politically outspoken comedians like Dave Chappelle and Margaret Cho, Bell's pissed off about recent celebrity racism... Bell manages to make jokes out of the whole situation, while remaining completely furious."

-- Hiya Swanhuyser, The SF Weekly

"W. Kamau Bell Curve could be this nation’s first Truth and Reconciliation Hearing on Race."

-- Wanda Sabir, Wanda’s Picks.

....

So come join me! Lotsa new stuff if you've seen it before, and if you haven't... What's your problem? Get your tickets over at Brown Paper Tickets RIGHT NOW.

This issue might, MIGHT be as important as ending racism...

I just watched The Story of Stuff, a flippin' BRILLIANT short film by Annie Leonard that manages to address the problems of global warming without ever actually saying the words 'global warming'...

(Editor's note: Every time I hear the words 'global warming' I want to throw up, because to me 'global warming is just another cause that liberals will pick UP and put rigth back down when they get bored. Remember Darfur anybody?)

Annie Leonard attacks the problems created by global warming on such a macro level that you'll immediately feel guilty about that your new cellphone adapter, or your new grande chai latte, or your "needing" new shoes. (All of those describe me as I type this by the way.)

The film also manages to encourage recycling while at the same time talking about the folly of it.

WOW!

The clip below is just the introduction. The whole film is about 20 minutes long in total, and you can find it in bitesize chunks on YouTube or you can just go to www.thestoryofstuff.com and download the whole thing for free.



P.S. Annie Leonard for President!
P.P.S. Thanks, Martha!

I think this is more an indictment of LIVE rap music.

... than the obvious.

2 hours, 26 minutes ago

Organizers of one of Britain's best-known music festivals on Tuesday defended their decision to book Jay-Z as their headline act after Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher blamed the U.S. rapper for disappointing ticket sales.

The outdoor Glastonbury festival is a cornerstone of Britain's music calendar. But this year's festival has yet to sell out, in contrast to past years when tickets were snapped up within hours.

Gallagher, whose band headlined the festival in 1995 and 2004, said rap was to blame.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Gallagher said in an interview, an audio of which was posted to the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Web site Monday. "If you break it, people ain't gonna go. I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? ... No chance." He explained that the inclusion of a hip-hop act went against the festival's tradition of guitar music, adding: "I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. No way. No. It's wrong."

Glastonbury Festival co-organizer Emily Eavis said the 38-year-old festival had a long history of attracting rap acts, including Cypress Hill and The Roots. She said the media stir over Gallagher's comments revealed an "innate conservatism" in some sectors of British society.

"There is also an interesting undercurrent in the suggestion that a black, U.S. hip-hop artist shouldn't be playing in front of what many perceive to be a white, middle-class audience. I'm not sure what to call it, at least not in public, but this is something that causes me some disquiet," she said in an article published Tuesday in The Independent newspaper.

Eavis said she thought Jay-Z was "absolutely the right act" for the festival.

On the Net:

http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/

...

Three things here...

1) We all know it. Some of us are afraid to say it. Live rap can be one of the worst forms of live entertainment ever. Live rap is like Burlesque strippers... a lot of movement, noise, and gyrations, but not that much is actually happening. Maybe Jay-Z is different. I've seen footage, but...

2) "Disquiet" is the new racism.

3) Noel Gallagher has always been, very publicly and proudly, a complete jerk. For those of you unfamiliar, his band,Oasis was initially compared to the Beatles but ended up with a career much closer to Badfinger.

Well Gays and Lesbians, if you want to be married...

.... then statistically 50% of you will want this.

This is further proof that marriage is hard no matter what parts you and your partner got.

David Duke and Hillary Clinton Agree...

That Barack isn't the candidate of change.

This is a real letter from David Duke's website. For all of you out there to young to remember David Duke. He's like Hitler but without the support staff.

David Duke writes an open letter to Barack Obama:

I believe White Americans are increasingly bitter for good reasons. They are indeed frustrated. But again, they have good reasons for that frustration.

Better-qualified White students, employees, working men and women face intensive racial discrimination that you and the other major candidates deceptively call "affirmative action."

Many White people can no longer use the public school system that their own taxes pay for because "people who aren't like them" have made their schools awash in violence, educational mediocrity, drugs, sexual degeneracy and gangsta rap.

Millions of White people who have paid exorbitant taxes all their lives can't afford medical insurance and decent medical care in no small part because "people who aren't like them," such as illegal immigrants and able-bodied, welfare parasites, people who have paid no taxes at all, have overloaded the the system.

Millions of White people see that illegal immigrants, "people who aren't like them," are illegally crossing the American border and they see clearly that politicians like you, Clinton and McCain won't even enforce our laws.

They are bitter because unelected economic czars such as Greenspan and Bernanke, Wolfowitz and a whole coterie of Jewish "people who aren't like them" have ripped them off and have let so-called "free trade" destroy the American economy.

They are bitter because other Jewish Neocon "people who are not like them," have led us into a catastrophic war for Israel in Iraq, a war that will cost the American people trillions of dollars and that has killed or ruined tens of thousands of American lives (While Jewish dead or wounded are spectacularly underrepresented in those terrible casualties).

White Americans are sick of the fact that their streets are so damned dangerous from "people who are not like them" that they appropriately "cling to guns."

Christian Americans are also sick of the fact that the Christian meanings of Christmas are being driven from public life, with crosses and nativity scenes banned from public land in our nation's capital while at Chanukah a huge Jewish Menorah, symbol of Jewish ethnocentrism and Jewish resistance to assimilation, is put across from the White House and dedicated by the Jewish extremists of Habad Lubavitch, vicious anti-Gentiles who claim that Gentiles are little more than animals with "satanic souls." Of course, in response to the attack on the values, mores and faith of the American non-Jewish, White majority, that "they cling to their religion." They marvel how they see billions of dollars of their tax money support the "Jewish state" of Israel, but also see it is forbidden to even refer to America as a "Christian nation."

I realize why you made the comments at a heavily-Jewish, closed-door, no press allowed meeting. Their agenda is not the same as our agenda. The (Jewish) Council of Presidents, an alliance of the biggest and most powerful Jewish organizations in America has exactly the same sentiments as you enunciated in your speech. It is fanatically for open borders, free trade and of course, for gun control. You are their puppet.

You say that you are for the working people, the middle class American, but in reality your biggest single campaign contributor is the Jewish extremist, Goldman Sachs Corporation. Those at Goldman Sachs, are the same extremists that have led America to its economic and social catastrophe. They are the elite of the elite of American politics and media, the heart of the new 21st century American establishment. And, just like the elitist crowd you addressed in San Francisco, they are people not like the average White person in America, not in values, heritage, or interests. Your audience itself was truly "people who aren't like them."

The American people need not explain their frustrations. They have legitimate frustrations, and legitimate anger at politics as usual in America.

But, you sir, are a hypocrite, one who says he represents change, but only offers more of the same relentless attack upon the White people of this country and the values and views of White people. Stop trying to pretend otherwise. You, Clinton, and McCain, should run for President of Israel, or Uganda, or Mexico. Not one of you should get a single White American's vote. You and your other two comrades for President are controlled lock, stock and barrel by, as you say, "people who aren't like them."

David Duke

...

You know if you took out all the "I hate black people" stuff, all the"Jews run the world." nonsense, all the xenophobia, and the word "white"... If you took all that out from this letter... then the brotha actually makes some good points.

Let's do that now...

David Duke writes an open letter to Barack Obama:

As edited by W. Kamau Bell

I believe Americans are increasingly bitter for good reasons. They are indeed frustrated. But again, they have good reasons for that frustration.

Many people can no longer use the public school system that their own taxes pay for because many schools are awash in violence, educational mediocrity, drugs, sexual degeneracy that has been promoted by the media and popular culture.

Millions of people who have paid exorbitant taxes all their lives can't afford medical insurance and decent medical care.

They are bitter because the government has ripped them off and have let so-called "free trade" destroy the American economy.

They are bitter because the government has led us into a catastrophic war for Israel in Iraq, a war that will cost the American people trillions of dollars and that has killed or ruined tens of thousands of American lives.

Americans are sick of the fact that some of their streets are so damned dangerous, and Americans are afraid that the government doesn't have there best interests at heart so that they appropriately "cling to guns."

The American people need not explain their frustrations. They have legitimate frustrations, and legitimate anger at politics as usual in America.

David Duke

...

Whew! That was harder than I thought. You give it a shot and see if you can do better. It's like reverse Madlibs.

P.S. Awwwwwwwww! Remember Madlibs?

So The Pope is coming to America...

And the media is all excited about it. THE POPE IS BACK!

But hold on a second... This isn't really The same Pope that we all know and loved. The Pope we liked was John Paul II. That Pope was friendly and cuddly, like a real live Muppet. (well as friendly and cuddly as a Pope can be and still trumpet The anti-gay, anti-birth control, pro-molestation) Catholic religion). But this NEW Pope hates Muslims and spent time as a kid as a Nazi.

Yikes!

See, I think the problem is that people tend to think that The Pope is like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. No matter who is inside the suit, people want their picture taken with "Mickey".

But I think The Pope is more like The Batman movies. The quality of the product is directly related to who's IN the suit. And currently we are dealing with "The George Clooney Batman Pope".

P.S. I'm not Catholic, but I did go to Catholic school for two years AND my girlfriend is Catholic... but she's also a feminist. Kinda like I hate tomatoes, but I love ketchup.

P.P.S. I can't WAIT for "The Christian Bale Pope"!

Charton Heston --- R.I.P.?

I assume he'll rest in peace if they bury him with his gun.



Oops, I guess that answers that.

At least with his own death, Heston should be happy that his death will create less chance of ethnicity mixing. One less white guy, one less opportunity to mix it up.