The W. Kamau Bell Curve

How can you vote FOR Obama AND FOR Prop 8.

2008-11-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I buy all the arguments in the article below. (It's weird how things are usually in some way black people's fault. Isn't it?) I just know that it sucks that an the first black presidential election has to be couple with this. Isn't it pathetic that this issue is the only one that Obama and McCain totally agree on. COME ON, PRESIDENT (elect) OBAMA!

The fact that gay marriage didn't pass is all our faults. I personally am committing to doing more. Exactly how... I don't know yet. But I do know that I WANT MY FRIENDS TO BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED SO THEY CAN GO THOUGH ALL THE WEDDING PLANNING STRESS THAT I'M GOING THROUGH!!!

Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2008
Why Gay Marriage Was Defeated in California
By John Cloud

Nov. 4 may have been a joyous day for liberals, but it wasn't a great day for lesbians and gays. Three big states — Arizona, California and Florida — voted to change their constitutions to define marriage as a heterosexuals-only institution. The losses cut deep on the gay side. Arizona had rejected just such a constitutional amendment only two years ago. It had been the first and only state to have rebuffed a constitutional ban on marriage equality. In Florida, where the law requires constitutional amendments to win by 60%, a marriage amendment passed with disturbing ease, 62.1% to 37.9%.

And then there was California. Gay strategists working for marriage equality in this election cycle had focused most of their attention on that state. Losing there dims hopes that shimmered brightly just a few weeks ago — hopes that in an Obama America, straight people would be willing to let gay people have the basic right to equality in their personal relationships. It appears not.

The California vote was close but not razor-thin: as of 10 a.m. P.T., with 96.4% of precincts reporting, gays had lost 52.2% to 47.8%. Obama did not suffer the much-discussed "Bradley effect" this year, but it appears that gay people were afflicted by some version of it. As of late October, a Field Poll found that the pro-gay side was winning 49% to 44%, with 7% undecided. But gays could not quite make it to 49% on Election Day, meaning a few people may have been unwilling to tell pollsters that they intended to vote against equal marriage rights.

Gays are used to losing these constitutional amendment battles — as I said, Arizona was the only exception — but gay activists cannot claim they didn't have the money to wage the California fight. According to an analysis of the most recent reports from the California secretary of state, the pro-equality side raised an astonishing $43.6 million, compared with just $29.8 million for those who succeeded in keeping gays from marrying. The money the gay side raised is surprising for two reasons: first, the cash-Hoover known as the Obama campaign was sucking down millions of dollars a day from the nation's liberals. Many gays expected it to be difficult to raise money to fight Proposition 8 and its plan to outlaw same-sex marriage from Democrats eager to give to Obama and to the outside 527 groups supporting him. As recently as August, one of the nation's top gay political givers told me that he expected the gay side to raise no more than $25 million.

But a series of high-profile Hollywood donations, as well as a frantic, nationwide push for gays to get out their checkbooks, turned out to be quite successful in the short term. East Coast gays had been lulled into inaction by the Oct. 10 Connecticut Supreme Court decision granting gay couples the right to marry — a decision that hadn't required gays to write a single check. But gay people in Los Angeles and San Francisco cajoled and shamed their Eastern friends into opening their wallets. Thousands of California gay couples got married in the past few weeks, and I didn't see a single invitation to a gay ceremony that didn't include a plea to donate to the pro-equality campaign in lieu of buying wedding gifts.

Still, even though gays were fighting to preserve a basic right, it was the anti-equality side in California that seemed to have the most fervor. A symbolic low point for the gay side came on Oct. 13, when the Sacramento Bee ran a remarkable story about Rick and Pam Patterson, a Mormon couple of modest means — he drives a 10-year-old Honda Civic, she raises their five boys — who had withdrawn $50,000 from their savings account and given it to the pro-8 campaign. "It was a decision we made very prayerfully," Pam Patterson, 48, told the Bee's Jennifer Garza. "Was it an easy decision? No. But it was a clear decision, one that had so much potential to benefit our children and their children."

You could argue that marriage equality has little to do with children, but Patterson seemed to speak to Californians' inchoate phobias about gays and kids. On the Friday before the Bee story appeared, a group of San Francisco first-graders was taken to city hall to see their lesbian teacher marry her partner. Apparently the field trip was a parent's idea — not the teacher's — but the optics of the event were terrible for the gay side. It seemed like so much indoctrination.

That news came around the same time the pro-amendment forces were running a devastating ad showing a self-satisfied San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom shouting wild-eyed at a rally that same-sex marriage was inevitable "whether you like it or not." The announcer then said darkly, "It's no longer about tolerance. Acceptance of gay marriage is now mandatory." Many fence sitters were turned off by Newsom's arrogance; blogger Andrew Sullivan attributed mid-October polls against the gay side to the "Newsom effect."

Gays came back in some polls, but they couldn't pull out a win. Part of the reason is that Obama inspired unprecedented numbers of African Americans to vote. Polls show that black voters are more likely to attend church than whites and less likely to be comfortable with equality for gay people. According to CNN, African Americans voted against marriage equality by a wide margin, 69% to 31%. High turnout of African Americans in Florida probably help explain that state's lopsided vote to ban same-sex weddings.

Gays did win some victories yesterday. A new openly gay member of Congress, Jared Polis of Colorado, will go to the House in January. And thanks in part to the Cabinet, the group of [a {e}]lite gay political donors I wrote about recently, Democrats took the New York senate. The entire New York legislature is now in Democratic hands, and New York's governor, David Paterson, is one of the nation's most eloquent pro-marriage-equality representatives. He is also, by the way, African American. Perhaps he can help bridge the gap between gays and blacks that widened on Nov. 4.

Then this happened: SF Chroncile part 2

2008-11-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

Below you will see the ten comments written by people who read the Chronicle article and then felt compelled to put their two cents in. HOORAY FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Add Your Comment

historian_1066
11/5/2008 11:43:41 AM

Well, black entitlement is a big part of racism. When you talk about racism to African Americans , they go, 'That's not me, that's those other people, that's people in Oakland.' If I talk about black entitlement, that's a different thing, and in my life, (black entitlement) creates more racism than a couple of brothas in a Cadillac."

Recommend: (11)(4)[Report Abuse]

historian_1066
11/5/2008 12:06:32 PM

Comedian Southern Bell would like Bay Area residents to know something: Whoever wins the election, it's OK to call Barack Obama evil. "I've been doing some political shows lately, and I always make it clear that my opinion is that he's evil - not just that he's confused, or he's stupid, although he is that too," Southern Bell says.

Recommend: (4)(3)[Report Abuse]

parkinglotpimp
11/5/2008 12:14:16 PM

historian I'll go one further.. That beady eyed guy Bidden looks as evil as Obama. They look like some species you would see in one of the outer planets in Star War. Now, that's just my opinion! It looks like not to many people read this article. I didn't know what the hell the guy was talking about half the time. Maybe the interviewer could have asked more follow up questions so that the guy could had given more of a explanation for whatever he was talking about

Recommend: (4)(3)[Report Abuse]
This comment was left by a user who has been blocked by an SFGate editor.

homer
11/5/2008 1:53:28 PM

Thanks for the recap--this is another comedian I don't have to waste my time or money seeing.

Recommend: (6)(2)[Report Abuse]

mchap
11/5/2008 3:15:49 PM

You said "Racism will not be over if Barack wins." Unfortunately, you are probably right. As long as there are people like yourself that have a vested interest in the perpetuation of racism we will probably never get past it. It would be really nice if we could all try, though.

Recommend: (3)(2)[Report Abuse]

fritz_youth
11/5/2008 3:21:39 PM

"which got him named best comedian in San Francisco by S.F. Weekly" - I must have missed that, it was probably squeezed somewhere between all the hooker ads. I'm betting if I replaced the word "white" with "black" and every derogatory term he uses for whites with a term equally derogatory for blacks I would sound like the Grand Dragon riling up his white robed minions but when this guy does it's his "attempt to take it to a collegiate level. " Darn, these new rules of racism are confusing!

Recommend: (8)(2)[Report Abuse]

Weej
11/5/2008 3:42:53 PM

Wow, this is going a long way toward ensuring that there is no joining together of anyone. What a sad sack this young fella is.

Recommend: (3)(1)[Report Abuse]

dedbones
11/5/2008 5:39:42 PM

Please Mr Bell. Racism is what we are trying to trash. Not much humor in the hard work. Please pick a different subject. Maybe how funny it is to eat eggs from a chicken that can't turn around.

Recommend: (0)(1)[Report Abuse]

panhandler
11/5/2008 5:46:51 PM

Oooh evil comedian! If you can laugh at racism or you can cry about it. I'd rather laugh and poke fun about it the way Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor did. This guy is not in their league but I think I will go check out his show.

Recommend: (1)(4)[Report Abuse

Another black guy was in The Chronicle Yesterday TOO!

2008-11-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Comedian W. Kamau Bell would like Bay Area residents to know something: Whoever wins the election, it's OK to call John McCain evil.

"I've been doing some political shows lately, and I always make it clear that my opinion is that he's evil - not just that he's confused, or he's senile, although he is that too," Bell says.

Well, then. Bell, 35, has been watching presidential politics very closely in preparation for another run of his hit one-man show, "The W. Kamau Bell Curve," which begins this weekend. As with last season's performances in Oakland and San Francisco - which got him named best comedian in San Francisco by S.F. Weekly - Bell will continue to make race central to the show.

In his act, Bell straddles the line between stand-up comedy and scripted solo show. "Don't get me wrong, I want it to be funny," says Bell. "I think that at stand-up clubs, though - and I'm as guilty of this as anybody - discussions of race stay on a junior high level. This show is my attempt to take it to a collegiate level. "

The Chronicle sat down with Bell, who recently became engaged, to get a preview of this fall's performances and find out what he thinks politics can tell us about race relations.

On what's new in his new show: "Much of the new material are things that I won't be able to start writing until (after the election). There's going to be a lot of new stuff. I myself can't wait to see it. ... Also, I'm really sharpening the attack of the show. A lot of people have been surprised that I haven't focused on one thing, done the whole 'I was born in 1973 ...' monologue, but this isn't like your traditional solo show. The fun thing for me is to comment on things that are happening as they are happening."

On talking to Bay Area audiences about racism: "Well, white privilege is a big part of racism. When you talk about racism to liberals, they go, 'That's not me, that's those other people, that's people in Texas.' If I talk about white privilege, that's a different thing, and in my life, (white privilege) creates more racism than a couple of dudes in a pickup truck."

On not being the new Spalding Gray: "A few years ago I saw a show in New York by Reno called 'Rebel Without a Pause.' It felt like she was just up there talking to us, mostly about 9/11, but there were a lot of jokes, which I recognized from stand-up. I had never seen anyone do it like that. Usually, in a solo show, someone would disappear into themselves or play a thousand characters, which is great, but I don't have that skill or interest. Also, doing shows like this makes my stand-up better."

On his own inner racist: "I really am trying to make the show more personal and put my own racism out there. I want to get away from the show being this guy on high, standing on a soapbox, yelling at everyone else, so I've been cataloging my own racism. Like, for instance, I really get mad when I see black people on the street tap-dancing for money. I get really Texas about it, even if they're doing it well and especially if they have a crowd around them and especially when black people are break-dancing. I mean, 25 years later? This is our best way?"

On Sarah Palin going "rogue": "It's a sign of the sinister nature of the pairing of those two, Sarah Palin and John McCain. The sinister, calculated and cynical pairing. ... He could have picked someone who he was friends with, and who would have stood by him. They're like a couple of James Bond villains."

On rednecks and avowed racists supporting Obama: "I don't know what the numbers will say, but I totally believe it's true. I think there are people who know that their self-interest is to vote for this thing that is Barack Obama and they are going to just say (sighs), "Guess I'm going to vote for the n-." And I think it's a sign of how totally f- up this country is. Barack's winning is like turning over a log and finding all these things under the log. It's like turning on a light and finding all these roaches. Racism will not be over if Barack wins."

The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Opens 8 p.m. Fri. and runs weekends through Dec. 13. Go to Web site for schedule. Tickets: $25, with a two-for-one deal if you come with a person of a different race. Climate Theater, 285 Ninth St., San Francisco. (415) 290-4456. www.wkamaubell.com.

For a look at last year's show, go to sfgate.com/ZFGX.

E-mail Reyhan Harmanci at rharmanci@sfchronicle.com.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/05/DD9J13RILP.DTL

This article appeared on page E - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle

A great definition of WHITE PRIVILEGE: ANDY ROONEY

2008-11-02T01:35:00.000-07:00

WOW! I actually found a white man older and more out of touch than John McCain.

Ever wonder what people mean when they talk about White Privilege?

(Or at least what I mean when I talk about White Privilege?)

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4546546n%3fsource=search_video

Watch CBS Videos Online

My "favorite" line...

"If someone doesn't have a job, it probably isn't because there are no jobs that need doing. It's more likely to be because the jobs available aren't the kind of work a lot of unemployed people want to do."

Seriously, Mr. Rooney? SERIOUSLY?! At least have the courage to have your feet propped up on an undocumented worker while you say that, Mr. Rooney.

I've worked in condom store, and ice cream shop, a medical bookstore, Michael Jordan's Restaurant, as a janitor in my old high school (AFTER I graduated), and a nanny (among numerous other jobs). NONE of those jobs is as good as being a writer. If they had been I'D STILL BE DOING THEM... And I love those kids.

Mr. Rooney, take your "Poor People Are Lazy and Unmotivated" speech and shove it up your swollen prostate... Or take it to the Republican National Committee fundraiser circuit. Your choice.

The Jackson 5 reunite WITH MICHAEL JACKSON?!

2008-10-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

Seriously.

Don't believe me?

Click here.

Ok... slow down, Michael. Just because America is almost, maybe, possibly, hopefully, about to elect its first black president, doesn't mean that we're ready to open up the floodgates. It is no indication that we're ready for THIS!

Look, Michael... If we look at this over an infinite time line... when the day comes that America elects its first (alleged?) child molester president THEN you can MAYBE think about making a comeback. But until then, enjoy living a in country where apparently a man of your proclivities is welcomed.

P.S. Michael, don't think you can hide by coming back with the Jackson 5. You are certainly someone who sticks out in a crowd.

P.P.S. Congratulations on the 25th anniversary of Thriller. It is still on eof the best and most influential albums of all-time. And I believe the impact of that album will never be duplicated. For that you should be celebrated... FOR THAT!

Racists for Obama.

2008-10-30T01:37:00.000-07:00

Article on Politico

My "favorite quote" from the article is...

“If you go to a white neighborhood in the suburbs and ask them, ‘How would you feel about a large black man kicking your door in,’ they would say, ‘That doesn’t sound good to me,’” said Democratic political consultant Paul Begala. “But if you say, 'Your house is on fire, and the firefighter happens to be black,' it’s a different situation.”

In summary... we're doomed.

What happened to Chris Cornell?

2008-10-28T17:12:00.000-07:00

Oh Chris Cornell!

How did you go from this guy...

Soundgarden - Outshined
Uploaded by hushhush112

--- God of Seattle (grunge-- Whatever THAT meant) RAWK! The lead singer and songwriter of SOundgarden, who in my opinion were the best Seattle band of the Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden Trio ---

to THIS guy...

The leader of a new movement: ADULT CONTEMPORARY ROCK AND ROLL... (And yes, I know Audioslave was half the fault of the musicians from Rage Against the Machine.)

and then to what I think is a commercial for long distance phone service or lady products...

Audioslave - Doesn't Remind Me
Uploaded by Pacotosman

to the theme from a JAMES BOND MOVIE?!!! Which puts him in the distinguished company of Sheena Easton AND Sir Paul MacCartney's LIve and Let Die. (Yucky!)

Chris Cornell - You Know My Name
Uploaded by Pacotosman

See if you can guess what THIS IS a cover of...

And finally he lands on this. The theme song of a TV show...

The sad thing is I don't actually hate this last one (aside from the clips from the show being dropped in). Chris's new album is produced by Timbaland --- who could make a Mormon funky --- but I do miss my old "friend" the screamer, the shouter, the angrier, Chris Cornell.

He was cool. Remember THIS guy...

Well now, he's THIS guy...

I blame the mustache.

The real problem is WHITE PRIVILEGE

2008-10-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

I've come to believe that the real problem isn't racism... it's white privilege.

To get an idea of what I am talking about, check out this vlog (what a dumb word) from Penn "Apparently I'm not as cool as you thought" Gillette.

OK... It must be easy to explain that things aren't as bad a we "the dummies" think they are as you sit in your rich man's compound in the middle of the desert. Don't believe me? Check this out. You don't have to read the whole thing. You'll get the gist...

USA Today Article on Penn's House

When you sit in your rich man's palace, railing against the confused proletariat who believe that the powers that be do not have their best interests at heart, while you stroke your stringy hair like a mid-eighties-Timothy Dalton's James Bond villain, you are study in how white privilege crosses all lines, except for color.

Penn's greatest trick was making us all believe that he was cool. I never thought I would see a magician fall off more than David Blaine. Penn has somehow made this guy look better...

An Awesome write-up on Flavorpill

2008-10-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

Flavorpill

Last year, W. Kamau Bell's critically acclaimed one-man show turned heads with its candid approach to celebrity racism, social norms, the nature of language, and everything in between. Now, with current political events underscoring the importance of race issues, Bell Curve returns with a newfound ferociousness. A self-proclaimed "professional talker," Bell has a merciless wit and a genuine sincerity towards his topic, which results in a hybrid of comedy and poignant realism. By making no subject off limits, keeping no discrimination too taboo, and leaving no room for self-denial, Kamau's Bell Curve is not only a powerful comedic performance but an outlet for a necessary dialogue.

– Laureen Mahler

Note:

Bring a friend of a different race and get two-for-one admission.

The Siskel & Negro Podcast episode 19

2008-10-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

I never do enough to promote this podcast which is a shame, because it is HILARIOUS. For those of you that don't know. It is a semi-regular podcast that is hosted by Roof Top Comedy and available on iTunes, and it stars ME, my comedic cohort Kevin Avery and, that undiscovered and under used comedic genius, Katherine P. MacMurphy. Teh topic of the podcast is supposed to be the entertainment industry but is just as likely to be us all making fun of each other. I really think we are getting better and better at it, and even my mom listens to it.

Enough with the pitch... Here's the latest episode.

We have begun to do more and more, even though Kevin has moved to Los Angeles, so keep on the look out for more. I'm really happy to be doing more, because doing the podcast is much more simple fun than ending racism in about an hour.

I have a NEW website!

2008-10-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

For real this time.

No more MySpace or Facebook or Friendster (Oh, poor Friendster.) I HAVE A WEBSITE!

Well, of course I'll still be doing those things too... mostly just to play online poker and to not respond to event invites. But now I have a real professional style website. It is still under construction but go check it out.

www.wkamaubell.com

Special thanks to William at Design Action in Oakland. And this wouldn't have happened without Lisa Marie Rollins and Ilya Tovbis.

Hari Kondabolu is my NEW favorite comedian

2008-10-23T01:06:00.000-07:00

And this is kind of a big deal. I haven't had a new favorite since me and Jason listened to that Bill Hicks' cassette tape (THAT'S RIGHT CASSETTE TAPE!!!) of Relentless. Well, I had the enduring pleasure of working with Hari this past week in several Laugh Out The Vote comedy shows here in San Francisco. The shows were organized by my political mentor and fellow comedian, Nato Green. I have feeling Nato knew that I would like Hari.

Watching Hari work onstage is like watching Malcolm X on a talk show, extremely angry, extremely eloquent, scathingly hilarious, and truthful... without ever raising his voice. I can't stop quoting his jokes. My favorites are Smithsonian Diamond Exhibit, When in Rome, and Sandnigger (my title.. not his) My future wife, Melissa, must be getting tired of me doing his jokes.

He has several clips of his stand-up available online at his website www.harithecomic.com, but I think you should start with his critically acclaimed short film, Manoj...

MANOJ (Unedited Festival Version)

Hari also has some of the coolest friends you'd ever want to meet.

A Cool Interview of Yours Truly by Jesse As Is

2008-10-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

From Jesse As Is

W. Kamau Bell was recently crowned “Best Comedian in San Francisco” in SF Weekly Magazine. In this clip you’ll understand why as he addresses the term “people of color” and how it sounds like a “hug that goes on too long.” Recently W. Kamau took the time to talk about everything from his parents high fiving after his show to his brief role in the Matrix 2. Special thanks to W. Kamau for making this happen. Hit the jump for the interview.

Jesse as is.: Please describe the chain of events that lead you to choose a career in comedy?

W. Kamau Bell : When I was a kid being a comedian was the only thing that I wanted to be other than a superhero. When the X-Men never showed up on my door to recruit me, and I never got the good fortune to be bitten by a radioactive spider or to be hit by gamma rays in an explosion, I decided to try the comedy thing.

I have very clear memories of seeing Jerry Seinfeld on The Tonight Show and thinking, “I want to do that, but too bad my life isn’t as interesting as his.” One of the first videotapes my mom ever rented for me from the video store was Bill Cosby: Himself. It changed my life. It was equally smart and funny. Then later I saw Eddie Murphy: Raw in the movie theater the day it came out. I remember people in the theater laughing so loud that you couldn’t hear many of the punchlines. The energy in the place was amazing, and we weren’t even seeing it live. That also changed my life.

Eventually after dropping out of college I let my best friend Jason know that I wanted to do stand-up, and he, on his own, found an open mic in his neighborhood, and called me up and we started going together… just to watch at first. A month later I went up, and then a couple days ago you asked if you could interview me. I think that just about catches us up.

Jesse as is.: What are some of your most memorable shows? What makes these shows stand out?

W. Kamau Bell : My first memorable show was a show I did about a year into doing comedy. I was performing on a benefit for the homeless that some local comics organized. My mom and dad were there. They were looooooooong separated so this was a BIG deal. It was the first time my dad had ever seen me perform. And after my set my parents high fived, which is kind of like John McCain high fiving a Muslim.

Another show that I’ll never forget was one afternoon I got a call that Dave Chappelle was doing a gig that night and needed an opener. I had opened for Dave before but only in small clubs. The show was in a college basketball arena and it held like 6000 people. This was right after he had gotten back from Africa so this was a biiiiiiiiiig deal. It was pretty intense. Right before I was to go on, I was waiting backstage, the lights went down, people cheered, I was waiting to be introduced and the stage manager looked at me confusedly and said, “Go!” As if, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” There was no introduction. Nothing. I grabbed the mic and ran out onstage, the crowd had no idea who I was, I introduced myself and it was one of the best sets I have ever had. Dave watched from the wings and later said the most complimentary things that anyone has ever said about me. I’ll keep those to myself.

Jesse as is.: What are the most important issues to you in the upcoming election?
W. Kamau Bell : The most important issues in the election to me are getting white men out of the office of president for AT LEAST the next four years and getting gay marriage made permanently legal in the state of California. It’s not that long ago that interracial marriage was illegal in many states. I think about that often, especially as me and my white fiancee prepare to get married next year. Everybody — no mater what their sexual preference — should have the right to go through the same ridiculously stressful wedding planning that we are currently going through.

Jesse as is.: What projects do you have in the works? What should we be on the look out for?

W. Kamau Bell : Currently, I am performing my own one person show, The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About An Hour. If you bring a friend of a different race it’s two for one. Seriously! I’ve been doing it for about a year and the response has been awesome. I get to do everything that I have ever wanted on stage… stand-up, drama, showing pictures, playing video clips, making THE MAN sweat, EVERYTHING. The SF Weekly named me the best comedian of 2008. November 7th we are opening three days a week at the Climate Theatre in San Francisco. Check out more info at www. WKamauBell. com.

Jesse as is.: How did your role in the Matrix come about?
W. Kamau Bell : Ummm… if you ever watch the Matrix 2 (which most people rightfully did not), you’ll quickly see (and I mean quickly, because if you blink you’ll miss it.) that my role is in the horribly nonsensical rave/dance party scene at the center of the Earth. At one point they scan the crowd and I jump up and give the black power fist. I had short dreadlocks at the time. It filmed during seven days of the hottest Bay Area summer in memory, and I was basically wearing a parka, just what you would wear if you lived at the center of the Earth. Don’t blame me that The Matrix 2 sucked. I was an innocent bystander.

This guy had a dream 45 years ago...

2008-08-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Apparently MLK, Jr. thought he was bombing that day so he went to his old stand-by "I have a Dream" bit. I've been there, Martin. Except my old stand-by bit is about fired chicken.

The UNEQUIVOCAL #1 Quote if the ENTIRE Democratic National Convention...

2008-08-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

comes from...

President Bill Clinton?

Yup. He beat everybody with this one.

This is Bill Clinton on America...

"People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power."

BLAMMO!

Get with that.

I'm not embarrassed to say that when I watched this... I felt it move a little bit.

2008-08-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

This is clips from Michael Jordan's basketball camp.

1st of all, how do kids this young even still know who Michael Jordan is?

2nd of all, I know he is playing against children, but look how silky smooth his jumper looks.

3rd of all, this clip made me more excited than anything in the last ten years of the NBA. Stay tuned for the dunk at the end.

P.S. This clip is specifically for Jason and my mom. The only people I know that get Michael Jordan as much as I do.

P.P.S.

This is UNBELIEVABLY AWESOMELY HILARIOUS!!! Part 2

2008-08-01T00:58:00.000-07:00

This is the trailer from Oliver Stone's new movie.

By the way that is Thandie Newton as Condi. And in case you don't know what Thandie Newton looks like when she's not making that "Condi" face, here she is.

Now you know Condi was probably super excited to have such a beautiful woman playing her, and they make that beautiful woman look like that. Yikes! Not since Charlize Theron played Aileen Wournos have we seen anything like this.

P.S. Oh also this movie looks awesome... but in a Netflix way... not in a ten dollars and fifty cents way.

I'm a critic's pick in The East Bay Express!

2008-07-31T16:14:00.000-07:00

CRITIC'S CHOICE
The W. Kamau Bell Curve

Is overt racism the new black? Well, standup comic W. Kamau Bell has noticed it's become fashionable again for celebrities to say outrageously racist things, whether it's perky Sarah Silverman, disheveled Michael Richards, or boorish Don Imus, and Bell isn't taking it lying down. That would make him a lie-down comic, and we all know what they're like: lazy! In his solo show The W. Kamau Bell Curve, Bell aims to have this whole racism thing sorted out in about an hour. After running monthly last fall and weekly for the last few months at San Francisco's Shelton Theater, he crosses the bay for Oakland and Berkeley runs as part of the JCC East Bay's Prism Stage performance series, August 2 to 10 at Pro Arts (550 Second St., Oakland) and August 16 to 24 at JCCEastBay (1414 Walnut St., Berkeley). The $20 tickets are only $10 if you're with a friend of a different ethnicity. JCCEastBay.org or 800-838-3006.
-- By Sam Hurwitt

CRITIC'S CHOICE
The W. Kamau Bell Curve

Is overt racism the new black? Well, standup comic W. Kamau Bell has noticed it's become fashionable again for celebrities to say outrageously racist things, whether it's perky Sarah Silverman, disheveled Michael Richards, or boorish Don Imus, and Bell isn't taking it lying down. That would make him a lie-down comic, and we all know what they're like: lazy! In his solo show The W. Kamau Bell Curve, Bell aims to have this whole racism thing sorted out in about an hour. After running monthly last fall and weekly for the last few months at San Francisco's Shelton Theater, he crosses the bay for Oakland and Berkeley runs as part of the JCC East Bay's Prism Stage performance series, August 2 to 10 at Pro Arts (550 Second St., Oakland) and August 16 to 24 at JCCEastBay (1414 Walnut St., Berkeley). The $20 tickets are only $10 if you're with a friend of a different ethnicity. JCCEastBay.org or 800-838-3006.
-- By Sam Hurwitt

Price: $20 tickets are only $10 if you’re with a friend of a different ethnicity
Time & Date: Saturdays, Sundays, 8 p.m. Continues through Aug. 10

Pro Arts
550 2nd St.
Oakland CA 94607
Oakland: Jack London Square
510-763-4361
ProArtsGallery.org

My friend Joe Klocek ruins a heckler

2008-07-31T12:41:00.000-07:00

Joe is one of the best comics in the history of all-time at riffing and working the crowd and handling situations like this...

Simply brilliant.

Find out more about Joe @ www.standupjoe.com

A popular question around these parts...

2008-07-31T03:47:00.000-07:00

Lemme answer a question that I’m sure is in the minds of many of you out there.

No, I have not watched CNN’s Black in America… for a couple of reasons.

1)I’m kind of busy BEING black in America. In fact wrote a whole show about it. You should come out and see it sometime. The Guardian actually named me the best comedian in San Francisco. Anyway…

2)The second reason is that I have it Tivoed, but I have other things I need to watch first. Last night’s Project Runway. Tonight’s my life on the D List. About twenty episodes of Cash in The Attic on BBC America. I’ll get to it. I promise.

Actually I need to watch it because I am pitching a follow up show, called “CNN’s White in America.” The best part is it will be really cheap to produce. Black in America was like four hours long spread out over two nights. YIKES! White in America will just be fifteen seconds long. It just consists of my white friend, Jeremy Townsend, saying, “Uhhhh… things are pretty good.” OK, actually it’s like fie seconds. I just cut the budget by two thirds. Hollywood will love that.

My friend Alicia Dattner wrote a piece about me over at Examiner.com

2008-07-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

W. Kamau Bell Curve: standup comedy turns solo show
POSTED July 28, 1:00 AM

The W. Kamau Bell Curve plays in Oakland and Berkeley.

W. Kamau Bell's solo comedy show, The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in about an Hour*, now in its third or so run at The Shelton Theatre in San Franisco is pioneering work. Bell, a standup comedian who got his start in Chicago, the improv capital of the States, developed his conversational, yet sharp, poignant style at Cobb's Comedy Club and The Punch Line. But rather than tell you a bit about the show, which you can see in SF, Oakland, or Berkeley, I'm going to tell you a bit about Kamau, who you might also see in SF, Oakland, or Berkeley.

I met Kamau in 1998 around the time that he moved to San Francisco. There used to be something like an "internship" at Cobb's, back when Cobb's was located in The Cannery in the Fisherman's Wharf district. Every six months or so, an up and coming comic was chosen to host one of the three weekday showcases as well as host the weekend show once a month, which added up to a lot of stage time one of the two best clubs in the city. Kamau had gotten the prized "internship" just as Cobb's was getting ready to move to Columbus and Lombard.

On of my favorite bits of his back then was about the omnipresence of African Americans in popular culture. It went like this:

"What's happened to black people in the media? In the 60's we had Martin Luther King, Jr. we had Sammy Davis, Jr., We used to be everywhere! You couldn't swing a nightstick without hitting a black person upside the head. In the 70's..."

Some time around 2005, Kamau became a sort of mentor in my standup work. We'd meet every week and work on bits, listen to great comics and talk about different realms of skill and how the greats did what they did. What we had in common was that we both approached standup with a desire to speak a more complex truth than is sometimes found in standup, which is hard, because funny is usually simple and short.

With Kamau climbing the ranks of San Francisco standup along with fellow comedians like Dan Rothenberg, Joe Klocek, and Dan Gabriel (and many others), he moved from opening, to featuring, to the honored position of headlining at The Punch Line about two years ago. His first headlining shows were especially packed and full of heat--Kamau, like Robert Mac before him, had gotten a really short hair cut, and almost immediately started headlining. Coincidence? You be the judge. When Dave Chapelle came back from his trip in Africa, he was doing a lot of sets at The Punch Line, and Kamau performed with him frequently. Kamau also appeared on Comedy Central's Premium Blend and recorded his first standup album One Night Only around that time.

So, along the way, Kamau and Kevin Avery had been doing the movie reviews on the Live 105 Morning Show, putting out a podcast ("Siskel & Negro"), working on a screenplay (Kevin) and an internet cartoon (Kamau) and Kamau directed by Bruce Pachtman's show "Don't Make Me Look Too Psychotic." One thing led to another, and Kamau started teaching The Solo Performance Workshop for people who want to develop a one-person-show or monologue. Kamau just won Best Comedian 2008 in the SF Weekly, and I'm hoping he takes his show on the road especially because he's got a plethora of opinions and insights about Obama that make it a perfect time to showcase this work.

What I have always admired about Kamau's work is that he articulates the questions of race in a genuine way that's not clichéd. Especially in The Bell Curve, Kamau thinks he expresses more anger about race than he actually does; on stage he is affable, engaging, and charming. Kamau's move from standup into the solo show is a courageous step. Not only does he re-write his show each week according to what's in the news, he also continues to develop both the standup and the theatrical elements of the show. I look forward to seeing future iterations as they unfold.

Click here for the original post.

TICKETS HERE for San Francisco!
TICKETS HERE for Oakland!

AND HERE for Berkeley!

Ruining the myth of White Supremacy

2008-07-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Mickey Avalon. Thank you!

And yes, that is ex-MTV VJ/star of solo masturbation videos Simon Rex sitting to Mickey Avalon's right.

Watch my audition for HBO's Def Comedy Jam.

2008-07-07T03:44:00.000-07:00

I threw in the attitude for free.

Ways to End Racism #1

2008-07-01T02:01:00.000-07:00

Fishbone is without a doubt the hardest working band in show business. Fishbone was begun by a bunch of high school friends in 1979 in Los Angeles and rose from the same punk/ska/funk/metal/alternative rock/kitchen sink scene as Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jane's Addiction, and later No (bleh) Doubt.

They have had many different incarnations over the years with the only two constants being the barely dressed, lead singer/saxophonist/theremin player (THAT'S RIGHT! THEREMIN PLAYER) Angelo Moore

And the even less barely dressed, singularly dreadlocked, dizzying slap funk 5 string bass of Norwood Fisher.

They do everything Red Hot Chili Peppers do (or did when they were GOOD) and more. They easily go from hardcore punk, to shake your ass 70's funk, to 80's ska, to songs that sound like all of that at once. They have hooks that would STILL make James Brown proud and crunchy guitars that should embarrass all current rock b(L)ands. Why aren't they famous?...

For more on this check out my new blog site LET'S END RACISM!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2008-06-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News
Back to Story - Help
Some Black Republicans Torn About Voting for Obama or McCain

By Nikki Schwab

Mon Jun 30, 4:44 PM ET

When Michael Varner attended historically black Howard University, he tried his best to rejuvenate Howard's chapter of the College Republicans, but he was a party of one. He debated politics with his mostly African-American and Democratic classmates, candidly discussing his views on personal responsibility and limited government as reasons for aligning himself politically with the GOP.

By the time he graduated this May, Varner was still the sole member of the College Republicans, having learned that it's "almost taboo" in the black community to be a Republican. "There's almost a stigma attached to the name," he says. "It was very frustrating for me."

Even after his hard work at Howard promoting the GOP, Varner finds himself undecided in the race between Republican John McCain and the first African-American presumptive nominee from a major party, Democrat Barack Obama. Varner wants to see the two men debate. He wants to better understand what kind of change Obama can bring. And then, he says, he'll decide. "I think they both have their strong points, and they both have their points where I can wait and see," says Varner.

This recent college grad isn't alone. More well-known black Republicans have also said they are at least considering Obama, including conservative talk show host Armstrong Williams and former Secretary of State Colin Powell. Former Republican Rep. J. C. Watts received attention when he told reporters he was contemplating an Obama vote. "I'm a free agent," says Watts, who is one of the only two black Republicans to serve in the House of Representatives since the 1930s. "I wouldn't just vote for a Republican candidate just because they are Republican, no more than I would vote for a black candidate just because they're black." For Watts it's not the historical nature of the race that leaves him undecided, it's frustration toward his own party. "African-American Republicans in the faith community are the most forgotten demographic in the Republican Party," Watts says. And he hopes the GOP will allot more resources toward attracting black voters.

Watts and others argue that the GOP hasn't done a good job bringing African Americans into the ranks of the party. "It's an astonishing record of deliberate failure, which has been carried over by John McCain this season," says Lee A. Daniels, author of a new book, Last Chance: The Political Threat to Black America. "None of the primary candidates had anything to say with issues of any concern to blacks as a group."

This perceived failure has been reflected at the polls. In 2004, George W. Bush attracted 11 percent of the black vote, up from the 9 percent he garnered in 2000. In 1996, Bob Dole, running against the nation's so-called "first black president," Bill Clinton, received 12 percent. And now with Obama in the picture, more conservative blacks may feel compelled to join the heftier group of black voters who support the Democrat.

"They're practical if nothing else, and they want to see a black president," Ronald Walters, a professor of government and politics at the University of Maryland, says of black Republican voters. "The historical factor is going to overrun some of the other considerations." In a recent Washington Post-ABC News poll, 7 percent of the surveyed African-American adults supported McCain, while 90 percent supported Obama.

Despite the high support for Obama, there are some who are encouraging members of the black community to consider the GOP. One is Frances Rice, chairman of the National Black Republican Association. She paints a very different historical picture than most African-Americans, pointing to what she says is the Democrats' racist past. She brings up Democrats who fought to keep blacks enslaved and those who were members of the Ku Klux Klan. "The Republican Party has been the champion of freedom and civil rights for blacks," she says. And the Democrats? "Their goal is to keep blacks in poverty and the Republicans out of power," Rice says.

However, Daniels says that after Republican President Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Democrats have been the ones who have talked about the issues, such as poverty, that are important to African-Americans. "In terms of black people, people say the conventional wisdom is that the Democrats have taken blacks for granted, but it's the Republican Party that takes blacks for granted," Daniels says.

Rice's organization refutes this and publishes the Black Republican, a magazine that provides biting criticism of the Democratic Party and sponsors large billboards in the South touting, "Martin Luther King Jr. was a Republican." (While his family may have originally been Republican, King supported Democrats John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson).

As for supporting Obama, she says absolutely not. For Rice, it will be a vote for McCain come November.

Another "very likely" McCain vote, but a more moderate one, will come from Richard Ivory, founder of the blog HipHopRepublican. Ivory has a different view of the Republican Party, one that downplays the past and focuses on building the party up from a local level and bringing in urban African-American voters. "My blog was about starting a dialogue--basically get people to understand some Republican concepts from an urban perspective," Ivory says. And like Varner at Howard University, Ivory finds that some are miffed by his Republicanness and don't quite understand why he would support a "white old guy." But with the general election in full swing, he has found a good way to express his feelings: "I tell my friends, my heart is with Obama, and my brain is with McCain," Ivory says.

I'm quoted in an Obama article in The San Jose Mercury News

2008-06-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_9712135

Obama's historic run provides comic fodder with race as punch line
By Mark de la Viña
Mercury News
Article Launched: 06/26/2008 07:21:19 PM PDT

Did you hear the one about the black guy running for president?

If not, you most certainly will.

Jokes and comedy routines about candidates are as much a part of election landscapes as bumper stickers and smear campaigns. But with Obama's history-making role as the first African-American presidential nominee, the cavalcade of campaign cracks has a new wrinkle, at least for white audiences: race.

In comedy clubs and casino showrooms, comics happily get their funny on at the expense of Obama's ethnicity. The quips range from mild-mannered lines about how Obama's suspect bowling skills prove his blackness to Chris Rock's bit about how the politician would be more electable with a compliant white wife rather than the assertive - and black - Michelle Obama. Even Dave and Jay's writers slip the rare jab touching on Obama's race into network TV's late-night monologues.

Oddly enough, the serious issue of race is providing rich fodder for more inventive funnymen and women. Much like fools in Shakespeare's plays, these comedians call out the elephant in the room while giving the raspberry to political correctness.

But move into the mainstream and you'll find late-night talk shows working the other side of the spectrum - offering toothless material if they address the subject at all.

Ralphie May, a white comedian who is among the few crossover acts popular among black audiences, said comedians are doing a disservice if they ignore Obama's ethnicity.

Advertisement
"The historic part of Obama's presidential run is not the fact he's young or that he's a first-term senator from Illinois or that he's an orator or an inspirational leader for Americans," said May, who will perform at the San Jose Improv on July 10-13.

And indeed May can't resist making an Obama joke, noting that he used to think the politician was Latino rather than black.

"Obama sounds kind of Spanish," the hefty funnyman said in his Arkansas drawl, "Like, 'Cómo se llama, Obama?' El Presidente!"

Veteran comedian Paul Mooney, an African-American who grew up in Oakland, has no qualms about playing off of Obama's race. The former writer for Richard Pryor has worked with nearly every iconic African-American comic, from Flip Wilson to Redd Foxx. He also appeared as Negrodamus on "Chappelle's Show."

Mooney said race is a factor in every election.

"We've always had to say, does this white man like us?" said Mooney, who's writing the memoir "Too Black for Hollywood." "We've always had to think race. And this is the first time white people have had to think race."

Still, comedians such as Mooney are like canaries in a coal mine when it comes to testing subjects that make people uneasy.

Roland S. Martin, author of "A Black Man's View of America," said that comedy can create that rare sanctuary where the verboten is fair game.

"The comedic moment liberates people to laugh out loud at what they really feel and what they really think, but they're going to naturally suppress those thoughts and views once they're outside that particular arena," he said. "It's OK to sit in that arena and just crack up laughing about rednecks, making jokes about Obama's ears or his race or whatever, but the moment you want to have the conversation, the whole dynamic changes."

The worthwhile stand-up performers will delve into the provocative, said W. Kamau Bell, the San Francisco comedian whose theater piece "The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour," proposes that racism is making a comeback. The solo show is at the Shelton Theater in San Francisco, through July 30.

"I'm voting for Barack Obama," he says in his show. "Not for the reason you expect. I did it because he's black. Not because he's intelligent, or well spoken or represents hope. Nope. You had me at Negro."

Though late-night talk shows are viewed as a sort of measuring stick for mainstream American tastes in humor, they are usually too timid to address the issue of race, said Robert Thompson, professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse University. (Representatives from "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno and "The Late Show With David Letterman" declined comment for this story, saying that the jokes on the programs speak for themselves.)

"Network television, especially commercial-supported television, takes it sweet old time in areas of controversy," Thompson said. "It doesn't push envelopes; it licks envelopes."

The problem isn't limited to network timidity. NBC's "Saturday Night Live," for years knocked for its lack of ethnic diversity, has cast white actor Fred Armisen as Obama.

"Whether the jokes are funny or not, the fact that you don't have a black actor to play Barack Obama says something about the institution of 'Saturday Night Live,' " Bell said. "And that's horribly troubling."

Stand-up comedy in the Bay Area and beyond has a legacy of tangling with unpleasant subjects - witness "Daily Show" correspondent and political comedian Lewis Black telling jokes about Sept. 11 to the raw but ultimately receptive audience in San Francisco days after the terrorist attacks.

"But a lot of comedians are shying away from telling the Obama jokes," said San Francisco-based Will Durst, one of the pre-eminent political comedians in the country,. "That makes me want to do it well."

Durst has peppered his routine with Obama's lines, which reflect how far we have come as a country, he said. "Race is just a very touchy subject to America. That we can make jokes about it proves that we have come quite a distance."

Recent jokes involving Barack Obama and race:

• "These pundits can be very unfair. They always ask Barack Obama if he's black enough. Nobody asks Mitt Romney if he's white enough. Well, I guess he is white enough." - Jay Leno

• "As if Obama doesn't have enough problems, he's being accused by members of the African-American community of not being black enough. What the hell does that mean? As your designated cracker for this evening, let me just say we don't make those kinds of distinctions. Trust me - he's plenty black." - Will Durst

• "If white people think that black people in America reacted to the O.J. verdict, if Obama gets into White House house, we're going to go crazy. We'll be partying like we're in the Mardi Gras and screaming out 'Obama beat yo' Mama!' The first thing I'm going to do is get on the first public bus and tell white people, "Get in the back where you belong. Obama is president!" - Paul Mooney

• "Senator Hillary Clinton has now lost eight primaries in a row to Barack Obama. Hillary dismissed Obama's success by saying, 'He's only winning states with a huge African-American population - like Maine.' " - Conan O'Brien, during the primaries

• "Barack has a handicap the other candidates don't have: Barack Obama has a black wife. And I don't think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can't do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you're president? 'Honey, I did it! I won! I'm the president.' 'No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be Secretary of State! She can fight!' " - Chris Rock

Several comedians were asked to comment on what sort of changes would come to the White House if Barack Obama is elected president. Here is what they said:

• "They'll be painting the White House black. And I hope white folks don't burn it down. It will be the first president living in a trailer" - Paul Mooney

• "Less Van Cliburn, more Stevie Wonder. Gets rid of the poached salmon on bruschetta rounds; brings out the braised catfish on beds of mustard greens. White House now refered to as 'The Big Crib.' When papers talk about 'Obama's Posse,' they mean his cabinet." - Will Durst

• "In mid-January, there is going to be helluva good barbecue. And I think that 'Hail to the Chief' will get an update and maybe a DJ will skip it a little bit." - Ralphie May

• "His presidential limo will have spinning rims and the secret service will all have bow ties. And the Washington Monument - they're going to add a couple of feet to it." - Blaine Capatch

• Racists are "afraid that the moment he takes that oath of office, he's immediately turning into (Flavor) Flav...And from now on there's gonna be Newports and grape drink served in the Rose Garden." - Robin Williams on "The Tonight Show," June 24

• "Can you imagine how many times the presidential motorcade is going to get pulled over for, DWB - driving while black? And he'll have to retrain the Secret Service to stop getting nervous every time there's black guy around." - W. Kamau Bell

Contact Mark de la Viña at mdelavina@mercurynews.com or (408) 920-5914.
---

Why is it that most comic's Obama jokes involve Obama doing things that a man who grew
up in Hawaii and Indonesia would NEVER do. It's as if these comics had generic black president jokes sitting on a shelf waiting for a black guy to be president. And they have decided to use these jokes BY ANNNNNNNNNNNNY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS NECESSARY.

Prepare to throw up from the cuteness!

2008-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=8529068

Jokes that I was asked to submit to The San Jose Mercury News...

2008-06-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

They wanted jokes about what Barack will do when he first gets to office.

As you will see I tried to steer clear of all the "starting the meetings on colored people time" and other Fuzzy Zoeller/Don Imus-esque nonsense.

Here are my attempts at humour. (Take special note the use of the British spelling of "humor.")

People ask me, "What do you think Barack Obama will do in office?" "As the first black president, I'm guessing the first thing he'll do is get blamed for things that George W. Bush did."

Can you imagine how many times the presidential motorcade is going to get pulled over for, DWB, driving while black?

He'll have to retrain the Secret Service to stop getting nervous every time there's a black guy around.

Barack will have many things to keep himself busy when he first gets into office --- He'll have to balance the budget. He'll have to figure out how to pull The US out of Iraq. He'll have to dodge bullets.

I talked to the reporter, Mark de la Vina, who interviewed myself and other comedians, including Mr. Paul Mooney and Will Durst (who actually recommended me for the story). He is super cool, and apparently the article will be on the front page of The San Jose Mercury News on Thursday. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Now, I have to figure out where to buy a copy of The San Jose Mercury News.

A new especially HILARIOUS episode of my podcast Siskel & Negro

2008-06-24T00:06:00.000-07:00

Even I laughed when I listened, and I hate everything I do.

Radio host(ile) Don Imus strikes AGAIN...

2008-06-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

newsday.com/entertainment/news/ny-liimus0624,0,7282680.story
Newsday.com
Critics call Imus' 'Pacman' Jones comment racist

BY MARTIN C. EVANS AND NEIL BEST

martin.evans@newsday.com
neil.best@newsday.com

9:25 PM EDT, June 23, 2008

Don Imus, who was fired from a previous radio show 14 months ago after uttering racist and sexist remarks toward the Rutgers women's basketball team, was taking heat again Monday for a questionable comment.

It occurred during his morning program on WABC radio, while Imus and sportscaster Warner Wolf were addressing Dallas Cowboys football star Adam "Pacman" Jones' involvement in a fight at a Las Vegas nightclub last year that led to a shooting. Jones, who was not accused of the shooting, was suspended for the 2007 season.

When Wolf said Jones had been "arrested six times since he was drafted by Tennessee in 2005," Imus responded by asking "What color is he?"

"He's African-American," Wolf said.

"Well, there you go," Imus said. "Now we know."

Imus had earlier said of Jones' suspension: "You're in a nightclub, for God's sake. What do you think's gonna happen in a nightclub? People are drinking and doing drugs; there are women there and people have guns."

In an e-mail message to The New York Times Monday night, Imus said his comment was intended to be sympathetic with Jones; "I meant he was being picked on because he's black."

Imus wrote he would ask black comedian-activist Dick Gregory, a scheduled guest on his show Tuesday, what he thought of Monday's remarks.

"I mean ... come on!" Imus wrote.

Wolf Monday night said he was surprised the exchange had generated controversy.

Wolf said regular listeners would recognize it as part of a running, satirical joke in which Imus pokes fun at people who get into serious trouble, then cry racism. He made a similar joke about the Chicago Bears' Cedric Benson earlier this month after the football player's latest arrest.

"I think people are looking for something there that just isn't there," Wolf said.

The Rev. Al Sharpton said he found the comment "disturbing because it plays into stereotypes."

But he said he would reserve judgment while deciding whether the remarks warrant "direct action on our part as we did in April of last year."

Copyright © 2008, AM New York

---

Well, there you go. Imus, who's last comment was actually more sexist than racist, strikes again. Last time, he disappeared for a few months AND THEN he found a new job. And he pledged that not only that he wasn't racist that he would change his ways. But here we are... "Well there we go." And Dog The Bounty Hunter has his job back. It's only a matter of time.

White people, eventually you have to start policing yourselves.

This is UNBELIEVABLY AWESOMELY HILARIOUS!!!

2008-06-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

OK... Everybody take a deep breath.

That is HILARIOUS! Now if we could only get that on split screen with Kobe watching it, so we could see his reaction it would be even better.

I think my two favorite parts are...

I think my two favorite parts are...

1) I think that is the first rap to reference a vasectomy. I'm sure that it is definitely the first rap to reference it in a GOOD way.

2) My other favorite part is the crowd chanting, "KOBE, TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES!!!"

WOW!

P.S. The best thing about Kobe losing in the finals without Shaq is now NOBODY can EVER say that Kobe is as good or even as close to as good as Michael Jordan. I know I must sound like old man basketball, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

George Carlin R. I. P.

2008-06-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

When I was trying to come up with an appropriate analogy for the importance of George Carlin to stand-up comedy, I initially had trouble until I thought of one man... Miles Davis.

George Carlin was to stand-up comedy what Miles Davis was to music. Both men always pushed the boundaries of their chosen art forms. Both men were alive and working during the heydays of their chosen art forms. And both men were STILL relevant up until (and after) death.

And both seemed to know that the end was near based on their last blasts of creativity.

Miles began playing songs fro early in his career right before he died.

And these are clips from Carlin's most recent HBO special that aired in March of this year.

Carlin also has the increasingly RAAAAAAAAAAARE distinction of spending his whole career being known as a stand-up comic. Not a stand-up/talk show host. Not a stand-up/attempted movie star. Not a stand-up/sitcom star. He went onstage. He said what he felt with jokes added in. And he left town. Beautiful. We will never see his like again for many reasons. He is the last comic who could get arrested for what he said. back when you had to have a certain amount of bravery to go up on stage and say what you felt.

He died at 71 and we definitely lost him too soon.

P.S. Carlin's last special was recorded in Santa Rosa at The Luther Burbank Center. I performed there once. Tommy Smothers of The Smothers Brothers was in the audience. He is another comic who was on the forefront of the freedom of speech movement in comedy in the 60's. I was really excited to see what he thought of me, a dude doing socially relevant and slightly (at the time) political material. After the show he said nothing to me and enthusiastically complimented a guy who was doing circus tricks. Tommy SMothers is still alive. George is dead. Further proof that only the good die young.

The Ultimate Karaoke Champion

2008-06-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

I'm only half kidding this dude has apparently been in successful Filipino bands for years, and it has all added up to THIS...

If that whet your palette then you can watch the extended remix of the story here...

And this is him in the clip that got him the job. He had no idea that one day he would be doing this same song in front of thousands of screaming fans instead of just a few disinterested drunks. Nobody even really claps at the end and the tables look empty.

I don't know why I like this so much, but somehow it makes me feel all warm inside, while at the same time, it gives me hope for humanity.

P.S.

This is him doing Black dog by Led Zepplin, but weirdly his Robert Plant sounds more like Steven Tyler.

And now a word on Barack Obama from Cornell West...

2008-06-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

I think that Cornell West saying that he hates white supremacy is one of the most awesomely redundant things that I think ever heard in my life.

I know you're busy Jason, but....

2008-06-04T04:25:00.003-07:00

You HAVE to watch this...

Yes, that's Rage Against The Machine. And YES! They are dressed like prisoners from Guantanamo. And yes, they keep the masks on the whole song.

AHHH, I feel so young. This kind of protest takes me back to the early 90's.

Cassette tapes, personal ads in the newspaper, Sony Discmans, carrying around extra AA batteries, and thinking a girl liked me only to find out later that she wasn't that interested or didn't know I existed.

MY SHOW gets it's first OFFICIAL REVIEW & it's GOOOOOOD!

2008-06-04T01:45:00.000-07:00

RECOMMENDED --- The Bell Curve Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; brownpapertickets.com. $20. Thurs, 8pm. Through June 12. Just when you thought identity politics were passé, along comes the 2008 Democratic Party presidential primary, forcing us all to endure many a tired stereotype that should have died out with the advent of the disco era. Luckily, we have W. Kamau Bell to help us recover from the trauma while guiding us safely away from the precipice of other bad habits. In this 90-minute show, the longtime solo performer and half of the comedy duo Siskel and Negro breaks down the problems with PC terminology, while coming up with a few absurd ones of his own. With today's headlines providing him new material, Bell constantly updates the show, optimizing it for multiple viewings. We also get the back story on how Bell was raised by a single mom with a PhD instead of, as you might now be wondering, a rap sheet, and how early childhood experiences with skin-color bias shaped his future outlook. Along the way, Bell flows easily from biting to charming, pensive to goofy. Through studying martial arts, dating white women, getting a fancy salon haircut, and living in San Francisco, Bell comes to realize there are really only two kinds of people in this world. I was glad to find out that he and I are the same kind. (Giattina)

---

Thanks to Debra Giattina and The SF Bay Guardian for helping to make a little boy's dream come true. My favorite part is "Bell flows easily from biting to charming, pensive to goofy." And also the stuff about me guiding people safely through trauma.

For the record NONE of this would be possible without Bruce Pachtmnan, Martha Rynberg, Lisa Marie Rollins, and The Solo Performance Workshop... and Lee Hahn... and Paul E. Hunt and Conjure... and The JCC East Bay... and The Shelton Theater... and Molly Schminke... and Jeremy Townsend... and Adam Davis... and Mike Paunovich... my mom and dad and mom and the number 37 and by the letter "U.

It looks like we're going to EXTEND the show at The Shelton for several weeks, so come once, come often, spread the word...

www.brownpapertickets.com/event/32466

P.S. And Jason B. Smith and Dwayne Kennedy.

I'm gonna start going to church...

2008-06-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

not necessarily cuz I believe, but just cuz it's entertaining.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2008-05-30T03:46:00.000-07:00

Collins considers Bulls job

By RICK GANO, AP Sports Writer 8 hours, 53 minutes ago

CHICAGO (AP)—To shape their future, the Chicago Bulls could turn to the past.

Doug Collins, who guided the Bulls and a young Michael Jordan from 1986-89 but couldn’t get them past Detroit in the playoffs, has talked with the team about returning as coach.

“I have spoken with Bulls management recently about their head coaching vacancy and will resume conversations after the conclusion of my work for TNT in the Western Conference finals,” Collins said in a statement Thursday from Los Angeles, where he was working Game 5 of the Spurs-Lakers series. “There is no agreement in place.”

During a pre-game interview on TNT, Collins said he talked with both Bulls general manager John Paxson and team owner Jerry Reinsdorf.

“I have not been offered. I have not accepted,” Collins said.

“Jerry Reinsdorf has been a friend of mine the last 20 years so he and I have spoken on a lot of occasions over the last 20 years. … the whole thing is there’s interest on both sides.”

Collins added that as soon as the Western Conference finals were over: “We’ve agreed to sit down and talk to see exactly what is there.”

Known for his emotional style, Collins also coached the Detroit Pistons and the Washington Wizards—when Jordan was head of basketball operations there and made a comeback as a player.

Chicago has had a vacancy since interim coach Jim Boylan was fired after the end of a disappointing 33-49 season. Boylan had replaced Scott Skiles, who was fired last Christmas Eve after the Bulls’ surprisingly sluggish start following three straight playoff appearances.

The Bulls have a nucleus of young talent and also won the recent draft lottery, giving them the overall No. 1 pick next month when they are expected to choose between Kansas State’s Michael Beasley or Memphis’ Derrick Rose.

But they are coming off a season fraught with problems that included players missing practices and having angry exchanges with coaches. Joakim Noah, last year’s first-round pick, was recently arrested in Gainesville, Fla., for having an open container of alcohol and was also charged with marijuana possession.

Collins, who appeared content to stay in TV, where is considered one of the best analysts, could be ready to tackle an NBA head coaching job for the fourth time. He’s been fired three times. Web sites at both the Chicago Sun-Times and Chicago Tribune said Collins would fill Chicago’s vacancy.

Collins said he decided to explore the job after getting the go-ahead and encouragement from his son Chris, who is an assistant coach at Duke.

“Chris has always been the reluctant one. He basically really gave me the real freedom to explore opportunities that maybe I hadn’t done over the last five years,” Collins said.

Paxson released a statement that was posted on the team’s Web site.

“I have been in contact with Doug Collins in regard to our head coaching position. Contrary to some reports that are currently out there, we have not reached an agreement,” said Paxson, who played under Collins during his first stint in Chicago.

“Right now, his commitment is covering the Western Conference finals for TNT. When that series concludes, we will continue our dialogue. In the meantime, I will continue to talk to other candidates and review our options,” Paxson added.

The Bulls had been interested in former Suns coach Mike D’Antoni, but he took the Knicks job before Chicago could make an offer.

Collins had a 137-109 record during his first stint with the Bulls, going 40-42 in his first season when they were swept in the first round by Boston.

Chicago was 50-32 the next year but was beaten by the Pistons in five games in the conference semifinals. The Bulls were 47-35 the next season and again were eliminated by Detroit, this time in six games in the conference finals.

Collins was fired and replaced by Phil Jackson, whose first team also lost to Detroit in the conference finals, 4-3. The following season the Bulls swept the Pistons and went on to the first of six championships in the 90s with Jordan and Scottie Pippen.

Collins worked 2 1/2 seasons with the Pistons starting in 1995, going 46-36, 54-28 and 21-24. He was let go amid reports his style caused friction with some players.

He was 37-45 in both seasons in Washington but couldn’t get the Wizards into the playoffs. He was fired shortly after Jordan was denied a return to the front office.

Collins’ overall record is 332-287 and 15-23 in the postseason.

---

This ONLY works if they fire Doug in a couple years and hire Phil Jackson, otherwise I'M NOT INTERESTED! I stand by what I said earlier, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Carol Burnett Show ruled my world...

2008-05-30T03:21:00.000-07:00

... when I was a kid. Carol Burnett's show was EVERYTHING! And Harvey Korman was an integral part of that magic. I don't know if it would be as funny now, but I don't think I'll try to find out. I'll just leave it in my memory. Every comedian should aspire to the freedom and comfort and courage that they performed with on that show. Beautiful

Rest in Peace Mr. Korman.

'Burnett Show' comic actor Harvey Korman dies

David Wiegand, Chronicle Staff Writer

Friday, May 30, 2008

Comic character actor Harvey Korman, best known as part of the ensemble that made "The Carol Burnett Show" a huge ratings and Emmy winner for more than a decade, died Thursday at UCLA Medical Center from complications of a ruptured aortic artery. He was 81.

Although Mr. Korman's film roles were classic, including his turn as a sniveling Hedley Lamarr in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles," it was on the small screen that he found his enduring fame. For 10 seasons starting in 1967, Mr. Korman was part of Burnett's core group of performers. He was Rhett Butler to her drapery-wearing Scarlett O'Hara in the famous "Gone With the Wind" sketch, and he was Max the butler in the show's spoof of "Sunset Boulevard."

Burnett was the CBS show's star, but the ensemble, which also included Vicki Lawrence and Tim Conway, was what made the sketches work week after week. Yet, within that beautifully assembled group, Mr. Korman and Conway stood out as a perfect comic pairing on the level of Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Martin and Lewis, and Burns and Allen.

Mr. Korman, the taller of the pair, was the straight man who couldn't keep a straight face as Conway succeeded almost every week in finding some way to break his partner up with some bit of unrehearsed business. Much of the joy the audience felt toward the show came from those moments when Mr. Korman would fight every impulse to laugh as Conway droned on in some inspired comic rift, until, finally and predictably, Mr. Korman would double over in laughter.

Burnett was devastated by Mr. Korman's death, said her assistant, Angie Horejsi.

"She loved Harvey very much," she said.

"He was a brilliant comedian and a brilliant father," daughter Kate Korman said in a telephone interview with the Associated Press. "He had a very good sense of humor in real life."

Harvey Herschel Korman was born in Chicago on Feb. 15, 1927, and left college to join the Navy. He later attended the Chicago Institute's Goodman School of Drama and moved to New York to try to catch a break in show business.

"For the next 13 years, I tried to get on Broadway, on off-Broadway, under or beside Broadway," he said in a 1971 interview.

Finding no luck getting hired for the stage, Mr. Korman tried a comedy act with a friend, but the two were fired on their opening night.

Next, Mr. Korman headed West to try his luck in films, but for his first three years in Hollywood the closest he got to the movie business was working as a doorman at a movie theater.

Finally, he was hired in 1964 by Danny Kaye to be part of the ensemble for his TV show and remained a part of the cast until the show was canceled in 1967.

He found guest spots in other shows from time to time, including "The Steve Allen Comedy Hour" and "The Untouchables," but he found a home with the launch of the Burnett show in 1967. The show earned him four Emmys.

He left the show early to try his own show in 1978, but "The Harvey Korman Show" only lasted a few episodes before it was canceled.

Looking back on his failed venture during a 1999 interview with The Chronicle's Sylvia Rubin, Mr. Korman knew why it didn't work:

"Everybody thinks they can do their own show," he said before appearing at a benefit with Conway for the San Francisco State University athletic scholarship fund. "But not everybody can. It didn't work because I'm not a star. There's a certain persona, a certain something you have to have. I ain't got it. I've got heartburn, indigestion, arthritis, but not star quality."

In addition to his "Blazing Saddles" role in 1974, Mr. Korman appeared in other Brooks films, including "High Anxiety," "History of the World: Part I" and "Dracula: Dead and Loving It."

"A world without Harvey Korman - it's a more serious world," Brooks said in an AP interview. "It was very dangerous for me to work with him because if our eyes met we'd crash to the floor in comic ecstasy. ... It was comedy heaven to make Harvey Korman laugh."

Mr. Korman's other films included "Gypsy," "Huckleberry Finn" and two "Pink Panther" movies.

Mr. Korman's 1960 marriage to Donna Elhart ended in divorce in 1977. In 1982, he married Debrah Fritz, who survives him along with two children from his first marriage and two from his second.

Funeral arrangements have not been announced.

Chronicle news services contributed to this report. E-mail David Wiegand at dwiegand@sfchronicle.com.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/30/BAVU110AI2.DTL

OK, first Scott McClellan, then Rupert Murdoch, THEN Clay Aiken?

2008-05-30T02:47:00.000-07:00

Clay Aiken reportedly expecting a baby

Singer and woman who worked on his album used artificial insemination

Access Hollywood

updated 5:06 p.m. PT, Thurs., May. 29, 2008

LOS ANGELES - Clay Aiken is reportedly going to be a dad.

The former “American Idol” alum, 29, will be the father of Jaymes Foster’s baby, the sister of record mogul David Foster. Celebrity Web site TMZ.com reports that multiple sources have confirmed the news to the gossip site.

Foster, 50, who was reportedly artificially inseminated, is due in August. The two live together in Los Angeles. The singer will have an active role in raising the child, reports TMZ.

Foster was married for 23 years, but has no children.

When contacted by Access Hollywood, a rep for Aiken wasn’t immediately available for comment.

Last month during an interview with Billy Bush, Aiken said he has worked with Jaymes Foster for years.

“(She) is the executive producer of the (new) album,” Aiken told Bush. “She’s been my executive producer for the last two years.”

During the interview with Bush, Aiken also spoke about the topic everyone always wants to know about — his sexuality.

“Does it play to your advantage to leave it as a mystery?” Bush asked.

“Does it play to my advantage?” Aiken laughed. “I don’t really know. Maybe so, I don’t know.”

Aiken admitted when attention turned to his sexuality during his “Idol” run, it was a tough time.

“It can be difficult initially. I think when you get into anything and you’re not used to people scrutinizing this, that or the other… it bothers you,” Aiken noted. “After awhile you kind of just say, ‘Forget this… This is not who I am, this is not about me, what I want to do is be a singer, want to be an entertainer, and forget all that stuff.’”

And while he may not be ready to comment publicly on his love life, Aiken said he lets the music on his new album, “On My Way Here,” speak for itself.

“Some of the songs on the album are personal, some of them are not personal, some of them are very universal and I like to keep that — allow people to interpret it that way,” he said.

TMZ.com contributed to this report.

Copyright 2008 by NBC. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
---

Ok, if you were a famous dude, who everybody thought was gay? Would you think that you were disproving that thought, by marrying a 50 year old who is basically your business partner THEN getting her pregnant through artificial insemination.

Not that I'm saying that Clay cares if we think he is gay. I'm sure this is true love, although I hear even Michael Jackson is suspicious.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24882499/

First Scott McClellan NOW Rupert Murdoch?

2008-05-30T02:40:00.000-07:00

If you don't believe me, then read about it here.

Rupert Murdoch, the founder or FOX News, basically endorsed Barack Obama.

Rupert Murdoch.

Fox News... The people who turned Jeremiah Wright into a piñata.

He said that if Barack is the nominee that Barack will win by a landslide, and he said that he is leaning toward voting for Barack Obama.

Now one could look at this as a sign of how impressive Barack Obama is that he has flipped one of the major conservatives into a supporter.

OR…

One could be like me and be completely suspicious of the entire affair.

Think about it. Rupert Murdoch can’t come on TV and say, “Hey! Racist white people. We reeeeeeeally need to you to turn out and vote for McCain cuz this Obama guy is stronger than we thought. So racist white people, we need you to register to vote and well, first we need you to learn how to read AND THEN register to vote… actually we don’t have time for you to learn how to read… just register to vote.

Rupert can’t do that. So I believe he’s smarter than that. It’s reverse psychology 101. If he goes on TV and says, “It’s inevitable that Barack will win.”, then all the racists at home will go, “No, it’s not! Milly, teach me how to read. I gots to vote!”

I think Bill should start wearing these again...

2008-05-30T02:32:00.000-07:00

Bill Cosby's famous TV sweaters up for auction

Thu May 29, 2:13 PM ET

Some of Bill Cosby's legendary patterned sweaters his long-running television hit "The Cosby Show" will be auctioned off next month to benefit a charity set up in memory of the actor's late son, organizers said on Thursday.

Never available to the public before, three of the iconic sweaters worn by Cosby's character, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable, on the show in the 1980s and '90s will be sold on eBay's Giving Works charity listing arm from June 2-12. Opening bids will start at $5,000 per item on www.eBay.com/cosby.

The proceeds will benefit the education charity Hello Friend/Ennis William Cosby Foundation, which was established in 1997 by the Cosby family to continue the legacy of Cosby's son Ennis after his murder in Los Angeles.

"My mother and father were going through a storage closet, and I happened to be there and pounced on these sweaters," explained daughter Evin Cosby, who is a board member of Hello Friend.

"I told them that the price of what some of these sweaters might sell for could make a big difference in the lives of thousands of children."

"The Cosby Show" was one of the most popular sitcoms on U.S. television, airing on NBC between 1984 and 1992.

Reuters/Nielsen

---

I just want a Hillman sweatshirt. His sweaters rule. Too bad he doesn't anymore.

A couple of years ago, me and Kevin Avery went to see Bill at The Paramount Theater in Oakland. It was like a Master Class in comedy. Shortly thereafter Bill became the Angry Old Man that he is now. Sadly he funnier now, but not in the good way.

Clinton, Defending Nomination Battle, Cites R.F.K. Assassination

2008-05-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

By Katharine Q. Seelye

SIOUX FALLS, S.D.– Senator Hillary Clinton referred to the assassination of Robert Kennedy in 1968 as a reason she should continue her battle with Senator Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.

Mrs. Clinton's remarks came during meeting with the Sioux Falls Argus Leadereditorial board. She was responding to a question about calls for her to drop out of the race. The editorial board meeting, in advance of South Dakota's primary on June 3, was carried live on the Argus Leader's Web site.

"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it," Mrs. Clinton said, dismissing the idea of dropping out.

Mr. Obama learned of the remark when he was traveling to a rally in South Florida. He was not expected to publicly discuss it, aides said. Instead, the campaign issued a one-line statement.

"Senator Clinton's statement before the Argus Leader editorial board was unfortunate and has no place in this campaign," said Bill Burton, a campaign spokesman.

But an aide to Mrs. Clinton said that she was simply using the Kennedy assassination as a benchmark to underscore that nomination fights can go a long time and that she was in no way implying anything else.

"She was simply referencing her husband in 1992 and Bobby Kennedy in 1968 as historical examples of the nominating process going well into the summer," said Mo Elleithee, a spokesman for the Clinton campaign. "Any reading into it beyond that is outrageous."

...

Ummmm... one question... WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? What does the assassination of Bobby Kennedy have to do with her not dropping put of the race? Oh wait, is she paying tribute to Kevin Nealon's "Subliminal Man" from Saturday Night Live?

Is she hoping that by putting assassinate and Barack in the same sentence that one of her poor, uneducated, non-college graduate, middle American, uncomfortable voting for a black person, constituents will get the message?

She has sensed issued an apology for this, but this falls under my category of meaningless apologies. Kinda like, "Dude, I am sorry that I threw all over the inside of your car."

P.S. Thanks to my good friend Rich for sending this to me.

SIx minutes Doug E. Fresh and you're free...

2008-05-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Hip-hop pioneer `Slick Rick' pardoned by N.Y. gov

2 hours, 32 minutes ago

New York Gov. David Paterson is granting a full and unconditional pardon to rapper Ricky "Slick Rick" Walters for the attempted murders of two men in 1991.

The pardon is expected to halt efforts to deport Walters to the United Kingdom, the country he left as a child.

The eyepatch-wearing star behind the '80s rap classic "La-Di-Da-Di" served more than five years in prison after the shooting of his cousin and another man. Both survived.

The governor says Walters is now a rap artist and landlord in the Bronx who hasn't had any criminal problems since his release from prison in 1997. He also says Walters has volunteered to counsel youths against violence.

...

Wesley Snipes goes down for tax evasion. Michael Vick goes down for perjury. And Slick Rick is pardoned. I guess THE MAN felt like he owed us one. Although I guess this is the new black governor who's pardoning him. He knows that Slick Rick "don't cause trouble" and "don't bother nobody."

New VIDEO Clips from The W. Kamau Bell Curve

2008-05-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

I've been unbloggable lately cuz I've been working on this behemoth of a freaking show.

Here's some clips that were filmed and edited for me by Mike Paunovich. Thanks, Mike.

Please watch them and comment on them before they get all splattered with 'N' Bombs liek the last one.

Thanks for your enduring support.

Mildred Loving, matriarch of interracial marriage, dies

2008-05-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

Mildred Loving, matriarch of interracial marriage, dies

By DIONNE WALKER, Associated Press Writer2 hours, 38 minutes ago

Mildred Loving, a black woman whose challenge to Virginia's ban on interracial marriage led to a landmark Supreme Court ruling striking down such laws nationwide, has died, her daughter said Monday.

Peggy Fortune said Loving, 68, died Friday at her home in rural Milford. She did not disclose the cause of death.

"I want (people) to remember her as being strong and brave yet humble — and believed in love," Fortune told The Associated Press.

Loving and her white husband, Richard, changed history in 1967 when the U.S. Supreme Court upheld their right to marry. The ruling struck down laws banning racially mixed marriages in at least 17 states.

"There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the equal protection clause," the court ruled in a unanimous decision.

Her husband died in 1975. Shy and soft-spoken, Loving shunned publicity and in a rare interview with The Associated Press last June, insisted she never wanted to be a hero — just a bride.

"It wasn't my doing," Loving said. "It was God's work."

Mildred Jeter was 11 when she and 17-year-old Richard began courting, according to Phyl Newbeck, a Vermont author who detailed the case in the 2004 book, "Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers."

She became pregnant a few years later, she and Loving got married in Washington in 1958, when she was 18. Mildred told the AP she didn't realize it was illegal.

"I think my husband knew," Mildred said. "I think he thought (if) we were married, they couldn't bother us."

But they were arrested a few weeks after they returned to Central Point, their hometown in rural Caroline County north of Richmond. They pleaded guilty to charges of "cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth," according to their indictments.

They avoided jail time by agreeing to leave Virginia — the only home they'd known — for 25 years. They moved to Washington for several years, then launched a legal challenge by writing to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, who referred the case to the American Civil Liberties Union.

Attorneys later said the case came at the perfect time — just as lawmakers passed the Civil Rights Act, and as across the South, blacks were defying Jim Crow's hold.

"The law that threatened the Lovings with a year in jail was a vestige of a hateful, discriminatory past that could not stand in the face of the Lovings' quiet dignity," said Steven Shapiro, national legal director for the ACLU.

"We loved each other and got married," she told The Washington Evening Star in 1965, when the case was pending. "We are not marrying the state. The law should allow a person to marry anyone he wants."

After the Supreme Court ruled, the couple returned to Virginia, where they lived with their children, Donald, Peggy and Sidney. Each June 12, the anniversary of the ruling, Loving Day events around the country mark the advances of mixed-race couples.

Richard Loving died in a car accident that also injured his wife. "They said I had to leave the state once, and I left with my wife," he told the Star in 1965. "If necessary, I will leave Virginia again with my wife, but I am not going to divorce her."

---

Ummm... so let me get this straight... the illegal part was that she was black and he was white? NOT that when they began "courting" he was seventeen and she was ELEVEN? What in the name of Roger Clemens is wrong with this country?

Man, I hope this a real tape!

2008-05-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be awesome?

Jimi Hendrix estate says sex video bogus

Mon May 5, 4:42 AM ET

An amateur sex video purporting to feature legendary guitarist Jimi Hendrix and two women is bogus, managers of the late rock-star's estate said in a statement Friday.

The statement, published on the official Jimi Hendrix website, blasted the grainy 40-year-old footage that surfaced earlier this week as a "callous attempt to trade on the image" of the music legend, who died in 1970 aged 27.

"We strongly dispute the claimed authenticity and affirmatively state that Experience Hendrix is neither involved in nor have we authorized the distribution of this film," the statement said.

"Further, we deplore this obvious exploitation of Jimi Hendrix," it added. "We are highly offended by the disgraceful portrayal."

On Tuesday US porn giant Vivid Entertainment said it was releasing "Jimi Hendrix: The Sex Tape."

The Los Angeles-based company said it obtained the footage from a collector, and said it had been authenticated by experts, including Pamela Des Barres, a former groupie and lover of Hendrix.

Cynthia "Plaster Caster" Albritton, "famous for creating plaster molds of the penises of rock stars, including that of Hendrix," was also cited as authenticating the video.

However, Kathy Etchingham, one of Hendrix's steady girlfriends in the 1960s, told the New York Times the man in the tape "is not him. His face is too broad and nose and nostrils too wide for Jimi."

Celebrity sex videos are highly lucrative part of the adult movie industry, with hotel heiress Paris Hilton and actress Pamela Anderson among those who found themselves unwitting sex tape stars.

Experience Hendrix

The W. Kamau Bell Curve IS BACK!

2008-04-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

Racism can't keep me and The Curve away...

Every Thursday for six weeks May 8 through June 12 at The Shelton Theater.

The W. Kamau Bell Curve

RETURNS

Now with 37% more Barack Obama!

JUST LIKE LED ZEPPELIN, skinny jeans, and The Boston Celtics, racism continues to make a comeback in America. White people haven’t talked this bad about un-white people since Martin Luther King had that dream. And since The W. Kamau Bell Curve opened last October to end racism in about an hour, racism has redoubled its efforts. First the co-discoverer of DNA said that Europeans are smarter than Africans. Then Dog The Bounty Hunter tried to break Michael Richards record for the most ‘N’ words. Then an unknown golf commentator told a good old-fashioned lynching joke about her friend Tiger Woods. And recently it’s become trendy to say, “I hate China!” And somehow in the middle of all this, America might elect its first black president… unless Fox News has something to say about it. (See Fox’s coverage of Jeremiah Wright.) Well, W. Kamau Bell is mad as hell and he's not going smile politely anymore as his un-black friends go, "Sarah Silverman isn’t racist. She’s ironic." "The W. Kamau Bell Curve" is one part diatribe, one part manifesto, and several parts funny. And now that "The Curve" has moved from monthly to weekly, it will change as quickly as the world around it does. It will be a fresh as the news it skewers. And as always...

Bring a Friend of a Different Race and get in 2FOR1.

This past winter, The W. Kamau Bell Curve played to sold out houses at The Shelton Theater in San Francisco as well as the Jewish Community Center in Berkeley. And now it's back by popular demand and critical acclaim...

FROM THE PRESS

"W. Kamau Bell plays against type and comes with not only the insights you wish you had spewed first but also the wit."

--- Kimberly Chun, The SF Bay Guardian

"Smart, stylish, and very much in the mold of politically outspoken comedians like Dave Chappelle and Margaret Cho, Bell's pissed off about recent celebrity racism... Bell manages to make jokes out of the whole situation, while remaining completely furious."

-- Hiya Swanhuyser, The SF Weekly

"W. Kamau Bell Curve could be this nation’s first Truth and Reconciliation Hearing on Race."

-- Wanda Sabir, Wanda’s Picks.

....

So come join me! Lotsa new stuff if you've seen it before, and if you haven't... What's your problem? Get your tickets over at Brown Paper Tickets RIGHT NOW.

This issue might, MIGHT be as important as ending racism...

2008-04-15T17:47:00.001-07:00

I just watched The Story of Stuff, a flippin' BRILLIANT short film by Annie Leonard that manages to address the problems of global warming without ever actually saying the words 'global warming'...

(Editor's note: Every time I hear the words 'global warming' I want to throw up, because to me 'global warming is just another cause that liberals will pick UP and put rigth back down when they get bored. Remember Darfur anybody?)

Annie Leonard attacks the problems created by global warming on such a macro level that you'll immediately feel guilty about that your new cellphone adapter, or your new grande chai latte, or your "needing" new shoes. (All of those describe me as I type this by the way.)

The film also manages to encourage recycling while at the same time talking about the folly of it.

WOW!

The clip below is just the introduction. The whole film is about 20 minutes long in total, and you can find it in bitesize chunks on YouTube or you can just go to www.thestoryofstuff.com and download the whole thing for free.

P.S. Annie Leonard for President!
P.P.S. Thanks, Martha!

I think this is more an indictment of LIVE rap music.

2008-04-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

... than the obvious.

2 hours, 26 minutes ago

Organizers of one of Britain's best-known music festivals on Tuesday defended their decision to book Jay-Z as their headline act after Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher blamed the U.S. rapper for disappointing ticket sales.

The outdoor Glastonbury festival is a cornerstone of Britain's music calendar. But this year's festival has yet to sell out, in contrast to past years when tickets were snapped up within hours.

Gallagher, whose band headlined the festival in 1995 and 2004, said rap was to blame.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Gallagher said in an interview, an audio of which was posted to the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Web site Monday. "If you break it, people ain't gonna go. I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? ... No chance." He explained that the inclusion of a hip-hop act went against the festival's tradition of guitar music, adding: "I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. No way. No. It's wrong."

Glastonbury Festival co-organizer Emily Eavis said the 38-year-old festival had a long history of attracting rap acts, including Cypress Hill and The Roots. She said the media stir over Gallagher's comments revealed an "innate conservatism" in some sectors of British society.

"There is also an interesting undercurrent in the suggestion that a black, U.S. hip-hop artist shouldn't be playing in front of what many perceive to be a white, middle-class audience. I'm not sure what to call it, at least not in public, but this is something that causes me some disquiet," she said in an article published Tuesday in The Independent newspaper.

Eavis said she thought Jay-Z was "absolutely the right act" for the festival.

On the Net:

http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/

...

Three things here...

1) We all know it. Some of us are afraid to say it. Live rap can be one of the worst forms of live entertainment ever. Live rap is like Burlesque strippers... a lot of movement, noise, and gyrations, but not that much is actually happening. Maybe Jay-Z is different. I've seen footage, but...

2) "Disquiet" is the new racism.

3) Noel Gallagher has always been, very publicly and proudly, a complete jerk. For those of you unfamiliar, his band,Oasis was initially compared to the Beatles but ended up with a career much closer to Badfinger.

Well Gays and Lesbians, if you want to be married...

2008-04-15T13:54:00.001-07:00

.... then statistically 50% of you will want this.

This is further proof that marriage is hard no matter what parts you and your partner got.

David Duke and Hillary Clinton Agree...

2008-04-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

That Barack isn't the candidate of change.

This is a real letter from David Duke's website. For all of you out there to young to remember David Duke. He's like Hitler but without the support staff.

David Duke writes an open letter to Barack Obama:

I believe White Americans are increasingly bitter for good reasons. They are indeed frustrated. But again, they have good reasons for that frustration.

Better-qualified White students, employees, working men and women face intensive racial discrimination that you and the other major candidates deceptively call "affirmative action."

Many White people can no longer use the public school system that their own taxes pay for because "people who aren't like them" have made their schools awash in violence, educational mediocrity, drugs, sexual degeneracy and gangsta rap.

Millions of White people who have paid exorbitant taxes all their lives can't afford medical insurance and decent medical care in no small part because "people who aren't like them," such as illegal immigrants and able-bodied, welfare parasites, people who have paid no taxes at all, have overloaded the the system.

Millions of White people see that illegal immigrants, "people who aren't like them," are illegally crossing the American border and they see clearly that politicians like you, Clinton and McCain won't even enforce our laws.

They are bitter because unelected economic czars such as Greenspan and Bernanke, Wolfowitz and a whole coterie of Jewish "people who aren't like them" have ripped them off and have let so-called "free trade" destroy the American economy.

They are bitter because other Jewish Neocon "people who are not like them," have led us into a catastrophic war for Israel in Iraq, a war that will cost the American people trillions of dollars and that has killed or ruined tens of thousands of American lives (While Jewish dead or wounded are spectacularly underrepresented in those terrible casualties).

White Americans are sick of the fact that their streets are so damned dangerous from "people who are not like them" that they appropriately "cling to guns."

Christian Americans are also sick of the fact that the Christian meanings of Christmas are being driven from public life, with crosses and nativity scenes banned from public land in our nation's capital while at Chanukah a huge Jewish Menorah, symbol of Jewish ethnocentrism and Jewish resistance to assimilation, is put across from the White House and dedicated by the Jewish extremists of Habad Lubavitch, vicious anti-Gentiles who claim that Gentiles are little more than animals with "satanic souls." Of course, in response to the attack on the values, mores and faith of the American non-Jewish, White majority, that "they cling to their religion." They marvel how they see billions of dollars of their tax money support the "Jewish state" of Israel, but also see it is forbidden to even refer to America as a "Christian nation."

I realize why you made the comments at a heavily-Jewish, closed-door, no press allowed meeting. Their agenda is not the same as our agenda. The (Jewish) Council of Presidents, an alliance of the biggest and most powerful Jewish organizations in America has exactly the same sentiments as you enunciated in your speech. It is fanatically for open borders, free trade and of course, for gun control. You are their puppet.

You say that you are for the working people, the middle class American, but in reality your biggest single campaign contributor is the Jewish extremist, Goldman Sachs Corporation. Those at Goldman Sachs, are the same extremists that have led America to its economic and social catastrophe. They are the elite of the elite of American politics and media, the heart of the new 21st century American establishment. And, just like the elitist crowd you addressed in San Francisco, they are people not like the average White person in America, not in values, heritage, or interests. Your audience itself was truly "people who aren't like them."

The American people need not explain their frustrations. They have legitimate frustrations, and legitimate anger at politics as usual in America.

But, you sir, are a hypocrite, one who says he represents change, but only offers more of the same relentless attack upon the White people of this country and the values and views of White people. Stop trying to pretend otherwise. You, Clinton, and McCain, should run for President of Israel, or Uganda, or Mexico. Not one of you should get a single White American's vote. You and your other two comrades for President are controlled lock, stock and barrel by, as you say, "people who aren't like them."

David Duke
...

You know if you took out all the "I hate black people" stuff, all the"Jews run the world." nonsense, all the xenophobia, and the word "white"... If you took all that out from this letter... then the brotha actually makes some good points.

Let's do that now...

David Duke writes an open letter to Barack Obama:
As edited by W. Kamau Bell
I believe Americans are increasingly bitter for good reasons. They are indeed frustrated. But again, they have good reasons for that frustration.

Many people can no longer use the public school system that their own taxes pay for because many schools are awash in violence, educational mediocrity, drugs, sexual degeneracy that has been promoted by the media and popular culture.

Millions of people who have paid exorbitant taxes all their lives can't afford medical insurance and decent medical care.

They are bitter because the government has ripped them off and have let so-called "free trade" destroy the American economy.

They are bitter because the government has led us into a catastrophic war for Israel in Iraq, a war that will cost the American people trillions of dollars and that has killed or ruined tens of thousands of American lives.

Americans are sick of the fact that some of their streets are so damned dangerous, and Americans are afraid that the government doesn't have there best interests at heart so that they appropriately "cling to guns."
The American people need not explain their frustrations. They have legitimate frustrations, and legitimate anger at politics as usual in America.
David Duke

...

Whew! That was harder than I thought. You give it a shot and see if you can do better. It's like reverse Madlibs.

P.S. Awwwwwwwww! Remember Madlibs?

So The Pope is coming to America...

2008-04-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

And the media is all excited about it. THE POPE IS BACK!

But hold on a second... This isn't really The same Pope that we all know and loved. The Pope we liked was John Paul II. That Pope was friendly and cuddly, like a real live Muppet. (well as friendly and cuddly as a Pope can be and still trumpet The anti-gay, anti-birth control, pro-molestation) Catholic religion). But this NEW Pope hates Muslims and spent time as a kid as a Nazi.

Yikes!

See, I think the problem is that people tend to think that The Pope is like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. No matter who is inside the suit, people want their picture taken with "Mickey".

But I think The Pope is more like The Batman movies. The quality of the product is directly related to who's IN the suit. And currently we are dealing with "The George Clooney Batman Pope".

P.S. I'm not Catholic, but I did go to Catholic school for two years AND my girlfriend is Catholic... but she's also a feminist. Kinda like I hate tomatoes, but I love ketchup.

P.P.S. I can't WAIT for "The Christian Bale Pope"!

Charton Heston --- R.I.P.?

2008-04-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

I assume he'll rest in peace if they bury him with his gun.

Oops, I guess that answers that.

At least with his own death, Heston should be happy that his death will create less chance of ethnicity mixing. One less white guy, one less opportunity to mix it up.

Yahoo News ALWAYS on top of the BIG STORIES!

2008-03-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

Klugman sues NBC over 'Quincy' profits

Sat Mar 29, 6:57 AM ET

Former "Quincy, M.E." star Jack Klugman sued NBC Universal Friday, claiming the studio is lying about the show's profits and owes him money. Klugman, 85, played the crime-busting Dr. R. Quincy on the show from 1976 to 1983.

His 1976 contract with NBC entitles him and his company, Sweater Productions, to 25 percent of the show's "net profits," according to the suit filed in Superior Court. Klugman claims his copy of the contract was lost when his agent died, and NBC has refused to provide a copy.

The lawsuit aims to force NBC to divulge the contract and award Klugman attorneys' fees. It also asks the court to clarify the terms of the agreement.

"I recently heard that they made $250 million and it's still on TV in Germany. I don't want their money. I want my money," Klugman told The Associated Press. "I worked my tail off. I got up at four in the morning and stayed at the studio. I did rewrite, I edited."

Calls to NBC Universal Friday seeking comment Friday were not immediately returned.

NBC provided Klugman with an accounting statement showing the series had lost $66 million through 2006, according to the suit. However, Klugman said he believes NBC is lying, and that it made money.

....

As a child of the 70's, it makes me feel good to know that Quincy is STILL on the case. For those of you to young to know the TV show quincy... It was kind of like CSI minus the special effects. Which meant there was more time for all the grandeur that was the 70's!

Also this is yet another example of how the entertainment business tries to cheat EVERYBODY! White, black, brown, red, yellow, khaki... I mean come on! QUINCY?! How does a TV show LOSE money 23 years AFTER it went of the air?

Go get 'em, Quincy. Go get 'em!

And since they're remaking everything else... How 'bout The NEW Quincy? They could do like they always do and just make the NEW Quincy a hot, young, woman. She could be his granddaughter... Wait... gotta go pitch a TV show...

The worst part about this story is that it's being directed by JOHN SINGLETON.

2008-03-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

The A-Team Countdown Begins

By Joal Ryan Mon Mar 24, 5:14 AM PDT

If you've been holding your breath for The A-Team movie, well, we feel sorry for you.

But help is on the way for you and your oxygen-deprived brain. So just hold on. Until June 12. Of next year. Feel better? You should, actually.

The release date, as reported by Variety, is the first for the long-discussed, long-suffering project.

John Singleton, who last yelled cut on Four Brothers, will direct; Michael Bandt and Derek Haas, who helped shoot the lights out with 3:10 to Yuma, are writing the screenplay.

As reported, the movie will follow the basic recipe of the 1983-87 TV series: Take four ex-military men; add one war crime they didn't commit; mix in chases, pursuits and more chases.

Given the source material, Singleton has promised an action movie, a serious action movie—"wall to wall kicking ass and talking s--t," as he put it to Collider.com. The film presently is sans actors, A-list, B-team or otherwise, as Singleton himself has made very clear.

"I don't know who is in the cast yet, so all this bulls--t of who is saying who is this person and who is [this person]," Singleton told Collider.com.

Singleton did allow that he "really, really want[s]" Woody Harrelson to play "Howling Mad" Murdoch, the sanity challenged pilot given life on the TV series by Dwight Schultz.

In the interview, conducted in January, Singleton sounded a lot like a man who's been a little bit hounded by fans demanding to know who's going to play Mr. T.

"Nobody is playing Mr. T—the character's name is B.A. Baracus," the filmmaker reminded.

And, no, before you bother Mr. Singleton again, B.A. Baracus hasn't been cast yet, either. Ice Cube, however, has thrown his Mohawk into the ring.

"Hell yeah," the Barbershop multitasker recently told blackfilm.com when asked if he'd consider copping a "Bad Attitude," as it were, "especially with John Singleton directing!"

And, yes, we know Ice Cube doesn't really have a Mohawk to throw into a ring. But that could change.

"I wouldn't try to duplicate what Mr. T did," he told the Website. "I'm going to bring my own flavor to it, and I am going to do the Mohawk."

The race seems wide open for the roles of Col. "Hannibal" Smith, the disguise-handy ringleader, and the smooth-talking "Face" Peck, played on the TV series by the late George Peppard and the still-plugging-away Dirk Benedict, respectively.

Even with the cast undetermined, an announced director and a release date marks the furthest along the movie has gotten since the project started raising hopes nearly 10 years ago amid a spate of TV-to-film conversions, à la Charlie's Angels, The Mod Squad and Wild Wild West. Per the calendar keepers at the Internet Movie Database, on June 12, 2009, the big-screen A-Team will go head-to-head with an Eddie Murphy comedy called NowhereLand. Which is about where The A-Team movie used to live.

A letter from Barack's minister to The New York Times

2008-03-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

March 11, 2007
Jodi Kantor
The New York Times
9 West 43rd Street
New York,
New York 10036-3959

Dear Jodi:

Thank you for engaging in one of the biggest misrepresentations of the truth I have ever seen in sixty-five years. You sat and shared with me for two hours. You told me you were doing a "Spiritual Biography" of Senator Barack Obama. For two hours, I shared with you how I thought he was the most principled individual in public service that I have ever met.

For two hours, I talked with you about how idealistic he was. For two hours I shared with you what a genuine human being he was. I told you how incredible he was as a man who was an African American in public service, and as a man who refused to announce his candidacy for President until Carol Moseley Braun indicated one way or the other whether or not she was going to run.

I told you what a dreamer he was. I told you how idealistic he was. We talked about how refreshing it would be for someone who knew about Islam to be in the Oval Office. Your own question to me was, Didn't I think it would be incredible to have somebody in the Oval Office who not only knew about Muslims, but had living and breathing Muslims in his own family? I told you how important it would be to have a man who not only knew the difference between Shiites and Sunnis prior to 9/11/01 in the Oval Office, but also how important it would be to have a man who knew what Sufism was; a man who understood that there were different branches of Judaism; a man who knew the difference between Hasidic Jews, Orthodox Jews, Conservative Jews and Reformed Jews; and a man who was a devout Christian, but who did not prejudge others because they believed something other than what he believed.

I talked about how rare it was to meet a man whose Christianity was not just "in word only." I talked about Barack being a person who lived his faith and did not argue his faith. I talked about Barack as a person who did not draw doctrinal lines in the sand nor consign other people to hell if they did not believe what he believed.

Out of a two-hour conversation with you about Barack's spiritual journey and my protesting to you that I had not shaped him nor formed him, that I had not mentored him or made him the man he was, even though I would love to take that credit, you did not print any of that. When I told you, using one of your own Jewish stories from the Hebrew Bible as to how God asked Moses, "What is that in your hand?," that Barack was like that when I met him. Barack had it "in his hand." Barack had in his grasp a uniqueness in terms of his spiritual development that one is hard put to find in the 21st century, and you did not print that.

As I was just starting to say a moment ago, Jodi, out of two hours of conversation I spent approximately five to seven minutes on Barack's taking advice from one of his trusted campaign people and deeming it unwise to make me the media spotlight on the day of his announcing his candidacy for the Presidency and what do you print? You and your editor proceeded to present to the general public a snippet, a printed "sound byte" and a titillating and tantalizing article about his disinviting me to the Invocation on the day of his announcing his candidacy.

I have never been exposed to that kind of duplicitous behavior before, and I want to write you publicly to let you know that I do not approve of it and will not be party to any further smearing of the name, the reputation, the integrity or the character of perhaps this nation's first (and maybe even only) honest candidate offering himself for public service as the person to occupy the Oval Office.

Your editor is a sensationalist. For you to even mention that makes me doubt your credibility, and I am looking forward to see how you are going to butcher what else I had to say concerning Senator Obama's "Spiritual Biography." Our Conference Minister, the Reverend Jane Fisler Hoffman, a white woman who belongs to a Black church that Hannity of "Hannity and Colmes" is trying to trash, set the record straight for you in terms of who I am and in terms of who we are as the church to which Barack has belonged for over twenty years.

The president of our denomination, the Reverend John Thomas, has offered to try to help you clarify in your confused head what Trinity Church is even though you spent the entire weekend with us setting me up to interview me for what turned out to be a smear of the Senator; and yet The New York Times continues to roll on making the truth what it wants to be the truth. I do not remember reading in your article that Barack had apologized for listening to that bad information and bad advice. Did I miss it? Or did your editor cut it out? Either way, you do not have to worry about hearing anything else from me for you to edit or "spin" because you are more interested in journalism than in truth.

Forgive me for having a momentary lapse. I forgot that The New York Times was leading the bandwagon in trumpeting why it is we should have gone into an illegal war. The New York Times became George Bush and the Republican Party's national "blog." The New York Times played a role in the outing of Valerie Plame. I do not know why I thought The New York Times had actually repented and was going to exhibit a different kind of behavior.

Maybe it was my faith in the Jewish Holy Day of Roshashana. Maybe it was my being caught up in the euphoria of the Season of Lent; but whatever it is or was, I was sadly mistaken. There is no repentance on the part of The New York Times. There is no integrity when it comes to The Times. You should do well with that paper, Jodi. You looked me straight in my face and told me a lie!

Sincerely and respectfully yours,
Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr. ,
Senior Pastor
Trinity United Church of Christ

Political Correctness is the NEW Racism

2008-03-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Shock jock named king of politically incorrect

By Arthur SpiegelmanFri Mar 21, 11:21 AM ET

"Nappy-headed hos," the phrase that cost radio shock jock Don Imus his job and triggered a debate on how far free speech can go, was named on Thursday as the most egregious politically incorrect turn of phrase in 2007.

Trailing behind that phrase in the annual survey by Global Language Monitor (www.LanguageMonitor.com), a word usage group, were "Ho-Ho-Ho" and "Carbon Footprint Stomping," said the group's president Paul JJ Payack.

"Ho-Ho-Ho" made the list after a staffing company in Sydney, Australia suggested to prospective Santas they drop their traditional greeting in favor of "Ha-Ha-Ha" so as not to invoke images of the derogatory slang term for women.

"Carbon Footprint Stomping" is a phrase used to describe flaunting environmentally "green" activities by doing things like driving gas-guzzling Hummers and flying private jets, which in these energy-conscious times might be considered the height of political incorrectness.

New York-based Imus was fired from his popular morning radio program by CBS in April 2007 after a national controversy erupted over his use of the "Nappy-headed" phrase to describe the Rutgers University women's basketball team. Imus later apologized and met with the team to ask for forgiveness.

Last November, he was hired by a different network.

"It is no surprise that 'Nappy-headed hos' was selected as the top politically incorrect word or phrase for 2007," said Payack. "A year later that phrase is still ricocheting about the Internet, even affecting Christmas-season Santas in Australia "

Among other examples on the list are:

"Fire-breathing Dragon" -- Children's book author Lindsey Gardiner was asked to eliminate a fire-breathing dragon from her new book because publishers feared they could be sued under health and safety regulations.

"Wucha dun did now?" -- The subtitle of a "Ghetto Handbook" distributed by a Houston school district police officer to enable readers to speak "as if you just came out of the 'hood."

"Gypsy skirt" -- The colorful layered skirt was given a new name, "Traveler Skirt," since police in Cornwall, a county in southwest England, believed the term "Gypsy Skirt" might be considered offensive to Gypsies.

(Editing by Bob Tourtellotte and Todd Eastham)

...

I guess when you call it political correctness it sounds cuter.

DAMN SKIPPY!

2008-03-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

Angela Bassett gets Hollywood star

Thu Mar 20, 11:15 PM ET

Angela Bassett has had good days — becoming a mother to twins, winning a Golden Globe, being nominated for an Academy Award. Then there was Thursday.

"Do you ever have one of those days? I woke up and the sun wasn't really shining but then it burst through the clouds and it was glorious. Hallelujah!" Bassett exclaimed to the crowd at the ceremony for the 2,358th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Bassett, 49, was joined by husband Courtney B. Vance, their children and guests Forest Whitaker, Laurence Fishburne and Rick Fox, her co-star in the new film "Meet the Browns," out Friday.

Fishburne, who starred alongside Bassett in 1993's "What's Love Got to Do With It," highlighted Bassett's resilience in the industry. She landed an Oscar nomination for the role portraying Turner triumphing over abuse.

"You get a lot of no's in this business and you have to have that desire and determination which is what Angela has," Fishburne said.

Whitaker gushed that Bassett was "a powerful artist, a beautiful person, a mother, a wife, a friend who illuminates my life."

Born in New York City and raised in Florida, Bassett snagged bachelor's and master's degrees from Yale before starting her career in theater and then moving on to film.

Her film credits include 1998's "How Stella Got Her Groove Back."

At the ceremony, she recalled moving to Los Angeles from New York in 1988.

"I meant to stay six months but I stayed. Today my cup runneth over!" Bassett said. "I am crying now, I cried yesterday and the day before. ... This day is so, so special to me."

...
And now you're asking yourself... "Self, what other stars have ummm... stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?"

List of Stars on The Hollywood Walk of Fame

Notable names that pop out at ME at first glance...

Paula Abdul
Tony Danza
Big Bird
Tyne Daly (Cagney of Cagney and Lacey)
Ann B. Davis (Alice from The Brady Bunch)
Emilio Estefan, Jr. (Gloria's Husband... I think.)
Sharon Gless (Lacey of Cagney and Lacey)
Pat Sajak
Vanna White
Dennis Quaid
Randy Quaid
Nichelle Nichols
Magic Johnson (Under the heading of MOTION PICTURES???)
Arsenio Hall

My favorite Angela Bassett story is about how she turned down the role in Monster's Ball that ultimately won Halle Berry the Oscar, because apparently she thought the story of a black woman who's husband is executed on death row and then falls in love with one of the prison guards was undignified. My favorite part about this story is that she said this AFTER Halle won the Oscar.

YouTube Clip of Halle Berry at The Oscars

P.S. Did you know that you actually have to pay $25,000 for your star. (Well, at least your people do. Anybody could pay for you... even your fans or friends... not that I'm suggesting anything.)

P.P.S. Denzel Washington DOES NOT have a star. Racism.

I was gonna write a blog about this Geraldine Ferraro/ Barack Obama thing but...

2008-03-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

then Keith Olberrmann put it pretty good.

Whew!

Thanks, Jason.

I just made $20.74 in digital downloads!

2008-03-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

WHOOOHOOO!

I am FINALLY officially a part of the New Late 20th Century Economy... in the early 21st Century. I put my debut stand-up comedy CD on CD Baby.com, and I have admittedly done a sub par job of promotions. (Did you even know I had a CD?... I thought not.) But today I got an E-mail from CD Baby that says I have sold $20.74 in digital downloads. Again I say....

WHOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm so filled with questions. Who are these people? How did they come across my album? How can I get my 20 bucks from CD Baby?

Anyway... Here is my first big promotional push for the CD. Click below and contribute to my digital EMPIRE!

(insert evil laugh here)

When I ffound out that Bjork had offended the Chinese I was sure it was another case of celebrity racism...

2008-03-09T01:11:00.000-08:00

But leave it to Bjork to be different as usual.

I have feeling news stories like this are going to become more abundant as the years go on.

2008-03-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

The Tiger Woods of Swimming

I never thought I'd say this buuuuuuuuuuuuuut...

You go girl!

(That made me feel creepy all over.)

I have to admit my least favorite line in this whole article is... "Neal stands out, anyway, because of her deft strokes and her dark skin."

"deft strokes and DARK skin..." Yuccky!

Thanks to Jason for letting me know about this.

I just can't get enough of Dick Gregory's Stuff...

2008-03-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

I've seen my future. Now I have to go work on the beard.

An Article written about me by Wanda Sabir...

2008-03-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

W. Kamau Bell Curve: The show designed to end racism in about an hour.

Wanda Sabir

I had so much fun at W. Kamau Bell Curve last month at the Sheldon Theatre in San Francisco. It was funny and educational at the same time. I didn’t know what to expect except that it would be about race and that if I brought someone of a different race to the event I’d my guest would get in free or half off or something like that. When I walked into the theatre, it was full. People were scooting over so some of the hopefuls out in the lobby might get in. Kamau, has become a Bay Area phenomena in just four runs, this weekend his first foray into the East Bay. Guest where? The Jewish Community Center of the East Bay on Walnut Street. They don’t bite. No seriously, I worked there as a preschool teacher over twenty years ago before the name change.

I spoke to Kamau Monday evening up to the time he was heading out to the Punchline for a gig. He was the headliner he told me as the clock approached 8, so he didn’t need to rush off. Raised in Chicago, Kamau, which means “quiet and gentle warrior in Kiswahilli,” the tall brother comes across as anything but and his route to comedy through circuitous has certainly been one that the artist has maintained. There is an integrity in his show which includes multimedia, that is honest and unapologetic. From the racism litmus test where one gets to check one’s temperature, to a survey of recent media insults, to images of why the W. Kamau Bell Curve is still relevant, perhaps even more so as black people are disappeared behind walls or walled are erected to keep them distant and out of view, the show is relevant and irreverent and funny.

The show opens with “words you won’t hear in this show,” which are all the racial epithets especially the N-word. Nooses and the racial rubric are inspired moments in the show which is one that changes Kamau said, in the moment—he has his set list, but if the spirit moves him, he’s gone.

W. Kamau Bell Curve could be this nation’s first Truth and Reconciliation Hearing on Race. It’s something his mother, a former Stanford professor in African Diaspora Studies and author/entrepreneur, Dr. Janet Cheatham Bell, wants to happen. Leave it to her son, a child weaned on The Fire Next Time and the Souls of Black Folks to attempt this feat in the San Francisco Bay.

Kamau was a comedic wall flower until his best friend, Jason, invited him to a comedy open mic in Chicago where he sat in the audience for a few weeks before getting up his nerve to try the stage himself. “They weren’t that good,” Kamau recalled, which should have given him courage. Finally he performed, but it wasn’t until his mother suggested he enroll at Second City Conservatory, the place where Saturday Night Live gets it’s talent, that improv became second or third nature-—he kid felt his calling and well, it was on.

Kamau has opened for Dave Chapelle on a number of occasions and counts as one of his heroes Richard Pryor, his book, Pryor Conviction, one he used to perfect his writing and craft, said, as he has gotten older, certain ideas are hard to ignore—one of the them race. As he continues to develop material, he said the other isms: sexism, homophobia, etc. edge towards the chopping board. “It’s not good form to pick and choose,” he said. Even though he doesn’t get up and leave the venue when someone makes a joke about these subjects, as he does when a comedian thinks it’s funny to insult black people, he has looked more closing at his work to see if he is adding to the manucia masquerading as fun. “It’s all linked.” He said.

“There were things I’d accept at 21 when I first started doing stand-up comedy, not just stand-up but to get along with the group that I won’t put up with anymore. It’s not okay. My challenge is to find out why it isn’t okay and communicate that to people.” He’s reached his toxicity level.

“On the racial rubric,” Kamau explains, “I have levels one through five. As much as people believe a four or five is violence. If you’re experiencing ones and twos all day, that stuff is cumulative. It starts to feel like a four or a five.

“I don’t want to be the living example, but I also don’t want to put poison in the world either, “ he said. “I certainly don’t mind being honest and if people find that offensive, I thought about it before I said it. I’m not just cavalierly throwing it out. I respect people’s right to be offended

“Laughter is the soul saying yes.” Kamau quotes Quincy Jones. “This can go either way—good and evil, socially acceptable and otherwise.” So be careful what you say yes too folks it might come back to bite you. After his show, which opened with Paul E. Hunt’s fabulous band, I found myself quoting Kamau: “Black people are only 30 percent of Oakland’s population. San Francisco doesn’t have any black people.

Check him out March 1st & 2nd, 8:00 at the Jewish Community Center of the East Bay, 1414 Walnut Street, Berkeley. Bring a friend of a different race and your friend and your guest gets in for free!
General Admission $20 Visit http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/27298 and visit his blog http://thewkbellcurve.blogspot.com/ For a clip watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeaXzQYs2-M

Saturday NIght Live Creator Defends Casting Of Non-Black Man in as Obama

2008-02-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

Saturday Night Live casts a NON -BLACK actor to play Obama

And now another word from Dick Gregory

2008-02-29T02:17:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure... but I think that when I was done watching this clip I actually had an erection.

FUCK RALPH NADER IN THE EAR!!!

2008-02-29T02:12:00.000-08:00

Nader picks Matt Gonzalez as veep

By ANN SANNER, Associated Press WriterThu Feb 28, 1:41 PM ET

Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader selected Matt Gonzalez, a former member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, to be his running mate.

"I want someone who shares my sense of justice and opposition to corporate state control over our society," Nader said Thursday at a news conference announcing his choice. Nader launched his White House bid last weekend.

The Texas-born Gonzalez ran for mayor of San Francisco as a Green Party candidate in 2003 but lost to Gavin Newsom.

Gonzalez said he recognized the difficulties of winning the presidential election.

"I have no illusions about what's happening here today," Gonzalez said. "But let me also say that I've never entered a political contest with the idea that it couldn't be won."

Nader, the longtime consumer advocate, sought the White House in each of the last three presidential elections: He ran on the Green Party ticket in 1996 and 2000, and as an independent in 2004.

On Thursday, he said he would not be seeking the Green Party nomination, noting that the party has four announced candidates.

"We think that there is plenty of room in this country for parallel progressive candidates," he said.

Nader is still loathed by many Democrats who call him a spoiler and claim his candidacy in 2000 cost Democrats the election by siphoning votes from Al Gore in a razor-thin contest in Florida. Nader has vociferously disputed the spoiler claim, saying only Democrats are to blame for losing the race to George W. Bush.

Though he won 2.7 percent of the national vote as the Green Party candidate in 2000, Nader won just 0.3 percent as an independent in 2004, when he appeared on the ballot in only 34 states.

...

Can we just get Ralph to go back to telling us which car has the best seat belts? Please, Ralph. Sit down. Your ego is showing.

Holyfield would consider Tyson fight... SERIOUSLY.

2008-02-29T01:49:00.000-08:00

Holyfield would consider Tyson fight

Feb 28, 11:50 am EST

LONDON (Ticker) - Evander Holyfield claims he could meet old foe Mike Tyson for a third time despite both former undisputed world heavyweight champions being in their 40s.

Holyfield beat Tyson in 1996 and 1997 - the second courtesy of Tyson’s infamous disqualification for biting a chunk out of his opponent’s ear - and both men have made several questionable comebacks in recent years.

However Holyfield, 45, has revealed he is considering an offer from 41-year-old Tyson’s camp to meet in the ring for a third time.

“There has been some talk between us,” Holyfield told The Guardian newspaper in London.

“Mike had Jeff Fenech, who’s been training him, call me a few months ago. Jeff says Mike wants to fight me again - but he needs to know if I would agree to it.

Holyfield said he sought assurances that Tyson would turn up and fight.

“I said, ‘It all depends on what they are going to give us - because I’m gonna catch a lot of flak if I say I’m fighting Mike Tyson again. I’ve already said I don’t want to fight Mike no more’,” he added.

“Jeff says, ‘What if Mike gets in proper shape?’ I told him that’s OK but I can’t be part of it if Mike’s going to pull out. Jeff said, ‘The main thing Mike wants to know is if you would be willing to fight him again?’ I said, ‘Yeah, if the price is right, I probably would’.”

...

The password is YIKES! This proves that boxing is ABSOLUTELY dead. If anybody needs me, I'll be watching that organized bar fight that is Mixed Martial Arts.

And now the palette cleanser before a weekend of defeating racism

2008-02-29T01:22:00.000-08:00

Just read this over at IMDB.com...
...
Casting Director Asks for "Inbred"-Looking Extras, Is Fired

The casting director for a horror movie being shot in West Virginia has been fired after putting out a call for extras with facial features that would make them look "inbred." Casting director Donna M. Belajac was dismissed after Gov. Joe Manchin released a statement describing the casting call as "offensive." He added that he thought that the movie, a horror flick titled Shelter, produced by Nala Films of Los Angeles, "does not sound like a movie worth watching." Producers Emilio Diez Barroso and Darlene Caamano apologized "for the very insensitive casting call sent out without our knowledge." The incident also drew the attention of West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, who released a statement saying, "Unfortunately, some in the filmmaking industry have decided that perpetuating stereotypes and insulting generations of West Virginians means cash at the box office."

...

Sweeeeeeeeeeet! So what does the casting notice read now?...

Looking for REEEEEEEEEEEALLY ugly people... not normal ugly... but extra special ugly... like, "Whoah, my mom is attractive!" ugly.

This is somewhat my emotional state leading up to my show.

2008-02-27T16:04:00.000-08:00

W. Kamau Bell's solo performance aims to preach to the alerted.

2008-02-27T10:26:00.000-08:00

This just ran today in The East Bay Express...

Printed from the East Bay Express Web site:
East Bay Express

Comedian Tries to End Racism in an Hour

W. Kamau Bell's solo performance aims to preach to the alerted.

By Rachel Swan

February 27, 2008

W. Kamau Bell finally meets the Man.

Comedian W. Kamau Bell enjoys comparing himself to P. Diddy on Making the Band 4, now that he's teaching three solo performance classes in San Francisco, which is tantamount to working on three albums concurrently. "I'm like the Bay Area's P. Diddy, except I don't do music, and I use the word 'bitch-ass-ness,'" he said. Still, Bell's greatest claim to fame — besides ten years in the stand-up comedy business and seven years directing other people's solo theater works — is his new one-man show The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour. Conceived last April, the show combines personal anecdotes — like Bell's childhood belief that if you put a black person and a white person together, the baby would come out Chinese — with wry observations about the world. "Every now and then I'll say something like 'Look, everybody, I'm not trying to be Martin Luther King Jr.,'" Bell said. "The show's about ending racism in an hour, but I'm not trying to go up there and be the example. I'm saying things that are true to my experiences and letting them bounce off your head."

Marketing solo performance is a lot harder than stand-up comedy, said Bell, since the idea has to sell itself. You can't just say, "I'm gonna do a one-person show about racism"; you have to have some kind of twist on it. In this case, the "ending racism in about an hour" part is what initially piques people's interest, and the hook is that if you bring a friend of a different race, the friend gets in free. Bell said he'd pull a deal like that even for a one-man show about Martha Stewart. "The audience of all one group is generally a dumber audience, because they only want to hear things from their perspective. When you mix it all up, the audience gets more intelligent." Bell insists that for comedy to really work, you have to rest assured that your audience can hang along with you. "I spent my whole career, on bills where I was the only black person, and I'd have to convince people in the audience that racism even existed," he said. "People would people be like, 'Come on, racism? That's soooo late-20th century. Once I had the show, I get people who are already alerted to the thing. They're already thinking about it before they walk in the door." Thus, he concluded: "It's not preaching to the converted. It's preaching to the alerted." Directed by Martha Rynberg and produced by Bruce Patchman and Lisa Marie Rollins, The W. Kamau Bell Curve runs Saturday and Sunday, March 1 and 2 at Jewish Community Center of the East Bay (1414 Walnut St., Berkeley). 8 p.m., $15-$20. MySpace.com/wkbonline

Ok... Ok... What I ACTUALLY said was I DON'T SAY bitch-ass-ness. But Rachel is a friend of mine and I talk quickly so I just hope I don''t get sued by the New York Area P. Diddy,

For more infromation on bitch-ass-ness see below.

The Racism Comeback Continues

2008-02-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

Just saw this over at Yahoo Entertainment News.
---

Bounty hunter's TV show to resume

Sat Feb 23, 2:33 AM PST

HONOLULU (AP) -- TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman is preparing a return to the airwaves.

The Chapman family confirmed Thursday that filming is set to resume on the A&E show "Dog the Bounty Hunter." The show features Chapman and crew in pursuit of bail jumpers in Hawaii and other states.

It was the highest rated show on A&E before the network pulled it off the air in November. Chapman was heard in a taped phone conversation using a racial slur in reference to his son's black girlfriend.

Chapman has apologized and tried to make amends with the network and the black community.

Network officials says that since the show is about second chances, they decided to accept his apology and resume production. No air date has been announced.

Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

---

1. I think it is hilarious that the article says "a racial slur in reference to his son's black girlfriend". If there was ever a time to just call a spade a "nigger", this is it.

2. "Chapman has apologized and tried to make amends with the network and with the black community"? Well, clearly he has made amends with THE NETWORK (which is a code word for RICH WHITE PEOPLE), BUUUUUUUUUUUUT I don't remember getting my meeting with Dog. When did he stop by? Did I miss it? I'm usually home during the day. I must've stepped out for a second to buy some bananas.

3. The good news for Michael Richards is with Imus getting his job back and Dog back on TV, the "Seinfeld" reunion can't be that far off.

Wanna be incensed by capitalism's excess?

2008-02-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

I found the following article over at imdb.com, a database for everything Hollywood...

---
Cody To Wear Million Dollar Shoes to Oscars

Oscar nominee Diablo Cody will look like a million dollars when she steps out on the red carpet at the Academy Awards on Sunday - literally. The Juno writer, a former stripper, has been chosen to wear footwear designer Stuart Weitzman's million dollar shoe to the big event at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. The "Retro Rose" shoe features two Kwiat diamond roses, fixed to 1940s-style beige metallic T-strap high heels. More than 1,800 Kwiat diamonds weighing 100 carats were used to make the roses and 400 of them have been incorporated into the design of the shoe, which is worth over $1 million. Shoe mogul Weitzman has also created a ballerina flat with a similar diamond-like design, which Cody will change into after she walks the red carpet and kicks off her high heels. This is the first time Weitzman has created a changeover pair of shoes with a matching design element for use at the Academy Awards. He says, "I think it is great and typically Diablo that she chose to be not just glamorous but also practical in her choice of shoes for this year's Academy Awards."
---

Ok... I'm not normally THIS PERSON --- the person who gets all twisted by the excesses of capitalism. I have watched Pimp My Ride and MTV Cribs and marveled and laughed and gawked with the best and the rest of them.) But MILLION DOLLAR SHOES?! It obviously goes without saying (but here I go) that the only reason these shows exist is so that articles would be written and TV commentators would say things like, "I couldn't even afford one shoe BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" And also they were made so that we could all go, "Golly gee! The stars sure are better than us!"

The same people who participate on all this Oscar night commerce (I've already started hearing about those fucking goodie bags.) are the same people who CLAIM that they care about global warming. Isn't all this stuff related? Needless product manufacture AND the ozone layer? And remember when they cared about the war in Iraq? Ahhhh... two years ago... A simpler time.

And no, it doesn't help to mention that she used to be a stripper. Not even a little bit... Although it does make me wonder if the heels are clear (That's a Chris Rock reference for all you uninitiated.)

P.S. Does anybody think this is even more disturbing since she wrote the teen pregnancy movie?

P.P.S. This is what happens in a world without superheroes. If people could fly and shoot laser out of their eyes, we wouldn't care about million dollar shoes.

THIS GUY for President!

2008-02-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this footage? It literally rocked my socks off.

Seriously, I'm not wearing socks anymore. And the people in the coffee shop are PISSED.

The interviewer CLEARLY is trying to play the uninformed Negro card, but this dude is having NONE of that. Enjoy...

Here's more from this dude...

So I nominate Derrick for President!

Oops, I can't. He's an immigrant. To paraphrase my friend and fellow comic Jim Short, "Thanks a lot, LAND OF OPPORTUNITY!"

My video is featured on YouTube pt. 2 OR Nobody can tell my that there's no such thing a racism ever again.

2008-02-17T19:46:00.002-08:00

I am exhausted.

My video was featured on YouTube and what it has done is opened up a torrent of race baiting and ignorance in my direction, the likes of which I have never seen in my lifetime and I have lived in Alabama, Philadelphia, and The South Side of Chicago. I know I can disable the comments but that seems like the coward's way out. If I am to do a show about racism in the 21st century I might as well take this unexpected scenario to experience some. It's interesting to me because I was always stunned to hear that Hank Aaron saved all of his hate mail, and yet I find myself in the position of doing the same. (Although I deleted the first nigger comment.) Being featured on YouTube should be some sort of confirmation of job well done I guess, but it feels like grist for the already full mill. I am angry, frustrated, and my heart rate is up, and I feel like starting a fire.

The thing that most frustrates me is that I NEVER thought that what I do is for EVERYBODY, and yet now I am getting comments from every 15 year old virgin and 50 year old... well also virgin... on the Internet. It is ignorant and excessive AND I KNOW that NONE of them would EVER say these things to my face, and that's not just because I am a 6'4" black dude. It's because they wouldn't say it to ANYBODY. Because if they did say it in public as much as they say it on the Internet, then America would be one unending bar fight. (At least the people in bar fights have the courage of their convictions. To think I wanted to end racism and it seems that I have made it more manifest and thereby worse.

In conclusion, I don't normally get inspiration from this guy, but today it feels like the hug I need...

My Video is featured on the front page of YOUTUBE!!!

2008-02-16T16:47:00.000-08:00

Which is a pretty cool thing... I'll just leave it at that.

Here it is!

Feel free to go to YouTube and post comments saying I'm awesome in order to combat 15 year ols from Nebraska who think it sucks cuz nobody is getting kicked in the nuts.

Special thanks to Mark Day for helping make this happen.

My Best Friend Jason is BLOOOOOOWING UP!

2008-02-14T15:53:00.000-08:00

Check out my best friend Jason's new news.

He and his wife Rachel own a bookstore in Oak Park, Illinois named The Booktable. It is relatively small BUT PAAAAAAAAAACKED to the rafters with books. And you may ask yourself, "Self, why in the world would I buy a book from a store and NOT online at a HUUUUUUUUUGE discount?"

Well first of all, why do you call yourself "Self"?

Second of all, unlike every other bookstore that sells new books on the planet at The Booktable EVERY BOOK IS AT LEAST 20% OFF! Even the new books! Take that, you independent bookseller who things I should shop locally even though you could give two shits about me!

Third of all, you can buy books from them online at www.thebooktable.net

Congratulations, Jason & Rachel. I can't wait to be put to work next time I'm in town.

Yes WE Can!

2008-02-14T01:41:00.000-08:00

Watch THIS!

Then watch THIS!

Then watch THIS!

Then wrap it all up with THIS!

Yes WE can!
AND
Yes SHE can!

A black president AND female dunker?! Didn't Nostradamus mention this stuff?

I care as much about The NBA as I do about The Presidential Race. BASKETBALL GEEK ALERT

2008-02-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Which is to say that care A LOT about both of them. Even if I don't have much control over either. I get just as worked up and just as frustrated and celebrate the victories just as enthusiastically. And for any highbrow people who think that politics has more to do with your quality of life than politics... YOU OBVIOUSLY WEREN'T IN CHICAGO WHEN MICHAEL JORDAN & THE JORDANNAIRES WERE COLLECTING UP ALL THOSE CHAMPIONSHIPS LIKE THE GREEN PARTY COLLECTS RECYCLED PAPER.

That time in Chicago watching those teams were some of the best and most thrilling times of my life. The Bulls coach, Phil Jackson often compared Michael Jordan to Michelangelo. I don't think that's inaccurate. Although, Michel never dunked on Dikembe Mutumbo and THEN waved his finger, soo maybe Michael was better,

BUT ANYWAY... I am both excited by Barack's continued ALMOST success. (It's not real success until he's in The White House. Moral or pyrrhic victories don't count for black people the way they used to. The way they did with Jesse Jackson and Shirley Chisholm in '72.)

AND I am excited to see what happens in The Western Conference of The NBA with all the big trades of late: Pau ("I don't need no stinkin' L!) Gasol to The Lakers AND Shaquille O'Neal to The Phoenix Suns AND as of today Ason Kidd (He could use a J.) to The Dallas Mavericks. Who would've ever thought that Jason Kidd would WANT to go back to Dallas? He ran the hell out of there just eleven short years ago. And now he's happily back.

And yet, I stil don't think it's going to be enough to stop The Lakers... I can't believe after everything Kobe could be a world champion again. Although if I had to choose between that and Hillary as president... Well... I'm thinking.

WOW!

2008-02-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

Bill Clinton Ex-Campaign Chief Backs OBAMA!

This is like the scene in Rocky IV where Gorbachev turns and looks at Drago's Trainer in disgust.

Does anybody else think that it's a failure of the Electoral College that Hillary Clinton can basically skip several states primaries in order to FOCUS ON the good delegates of Texas and Ohio? Make no mistake, here. It's not the people who are important. It's the delegates. I don't blame Hillary. I blame US for letting this be the case.

Anybody know how to get a good electoral college riot started?

Delegate Count

Barack: 1224

Hillary: 1198

Less than a year until my Rolling Stone subscription expires! HOORAY!

2008-02-13T01:28:00.000-08:00

If you've seen my show, then you know that there is thread of my dissatisfaction with Rolling Stone Magazine and my subscription. I once wrote a letter asking then how I could cancel it. They printed the letter, but never responded to my question. (They edited out the "cancel" part.) Well, here they go again with their latest cover...

AMERICAN TRAGEDY!!!

Really?

REALLY?

Ummm... in the same country that has both the disaster of the response to Hurricane Katrina AND The Jena Six... and that is just from one state. There is NO WAY that someone as rich and successful as this woman can be an American Tragedy.

Let's get this straight, she is a 26 year old white trash woman from a small town with two kids, an ex-husband and a drug problem. That's a tragedy for her family and friends. But that's NOT an American tragedy. That's just plain ole America.

P.S. Here is the cover of the first Rolling Stone. Yes, that is John Lennon. WHUTHAPPEN?

Dice crapped out OR What a difference 20 years can make. OR This blog is SEXIST! WARNING!

2008-02-13T00:24:00.001-08:00

Confession Time:

When I was in high school, I was a fan of Andrew Dice Clay. One of my friends (I think it was Rob.) had a copy of his debut album called... Dice. It was a big deal at the time. It was produced by Rick Rubin who was the co-founder of Def Jam Records with Russell Simmons. Rick and Russell are basically responsible for the business of rap. They discovered The Beastie Boys and LL Cool J, Public Enemy AND Oran "I saw YOU... and him... walkin' in the rain." Jones. At the time, Rick Rubin looked like this...

And now he looks like THIS!

THIS guy produces Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Dixie Chicks, Metallica, Justin Timberlake, U2, Neil Diamond, and Johnny Cash's last 5 albums.

But back in the late 80's, he produced Andrew Dice Clay a comic from Brooklyn who was born Andrew Silverstein. And in high school me and my group of friends (who were entirely Jewish --- except for me) thought he was HILARIOUS. In fact Dice's second album (or actually cassette tape) was one of the handful of comedy performances that made me want to do comedy. And YES, Dice was (and is) totally insulting, sexist, racist, homophobic. (He was everything but anti-Semitic. --- Hmmm? Curious?) I cant really explain why we liked him other than the flush of teenage hormones and... well, that's probably plenty. Well here was Dice then.

And NOW! YIKES!

Some blogs are just for me

2008-02-09T01:40:00.000-08:00

Recently I've been listening to a LOT of Living Colour on my iPod... which isn't really that big a deal I guess because they are one of the most important things to ever happen to me in my life. They are the band that made me first go... "Man! This music thing might actually be a good idea."

This thought came to me relatively late in life. I was like 17 at the time. Before that I was purely TV. In my house TV was like the radio. it was always on. I didn't have time or interest in music. Not that there wasn't music in my house or life. Mostly I remember my mom CRANKING up the X-Mas carols and I remember long car rides listening to AM radio... Stevie Wonder and Jim Croce are the two that immediately come to mind for some reason. I also remember late nights where my mom would make me listen to classical music radio in order to fall asleep, because Boston's Kiss FM (Does every city have a Kiss FM at some point?) was only keeping me awake.

Anyway, recently it's been LOTS 'O Living Colour. I think it has something to do with my show. Living Colour seems to summon up the appropriate level of black rage mixed with intellect and scathing criticism that I need to pull off ending racism in about an hour.

So in honor of the valuable inspiration that Living Colour is giving me, I am supplying my ultimate Living Colour concert set list. (Special Note: I've probably seen Living Colour in concert 10 times... Which is alot for most casual music listeners, but only about a week of shows if you spent the 90's following the Grateful Dead on tour.)

The following list is IN ORDER

1.Cult of Personality (The radio hit... Now featured in Guitar Hero III)
2. Time's Up
3. Pride (This is the song that changed the course of my life.)
4. Never Satisfied
5. Desperate People
6. Type
7. Funny Vibe
8. Information Overload (Rarely played live... Clearly one of their BEST SONGS!)
9. Money Talks (I've only heard this live on a bootleg. If I heard it live I'd better have a change of pants.)
10. Sailin' On (Bad Brains Cover)
11. Go Away
12. Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Clash Cover)

Encore

13. Love & Happiness (Al Green Cover)
14. Tomorrow Never Knows (Beatles Cover)
15. Solace of You
16. Fight The Fight
17. Which Way To America

So there you go. I'm embarrassed to tell you how long that took me. This set is long on the first two albums and short on the last two, probably because those two were soooooo much more important to me. All the covers are songs that Living Colour actually has covered. The only song I chose from their new album is The Beatles cover. That list may not mean much to you, but it makes me happy. Use your own band. Make your own list. Post it here if you want.

Now, I'm off to watch The Live Living Colour DVD that I got from Netflix AGAIN.

This is the song that changed my life. This is a fan made video that is cheesy and excellent at the same time. Bonus points if you find the image of my OTHER favorite band.

P.S. All praises due to Rob Nasatir who introduced me to Living Colour one night via a cassette tape in his parents' car in the parking lot of a record store. I jusrt remember being like, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

P.P.S. Vernon Reid is the guitarist from Living Colour. He hugged me after a show one time when I told him that he helped me understand what it is to be black.

P.P.P.S When I was 20 (20!) I went to a Living Colour Concert by myself (Thanks, Jason). It was around the time that Eric Clapton's song Tears in Heaven was all over the radio. I made an EXTREMELY crappy T-shirt with fabric paint that said, "Clapton is Pop. Vernon is GOD!" Vernon signed it after the show even though I didn't ask him to. Sweeeeeeeeeet. I don't knwo where that shirt is. Mom, do you know?

P.P.P.P.S. I FULLY believe that one day I will be the producer of a Living Colour Album.

P.P.P.P.P.S. This is live performance from The Arsenio Hall Show. THAT'S RIGHT I SAID THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW!!! Awesome.

The most shocking thing that happened on Super Tuesday

2008-02-07T02:30:00.000-08:00

Shaquille O'Neal was traded from The Miami Heat to The Phoenix Suns.

Oh and also, Barack and Hillary continued to stage their political reenactment of Rocky IV.

We are currently in the montage part of the movie. This is where, late in the fight, Drago and Rocky trade fierce, pummeling blows to the tune of an Orchestrated Rocky Theme.

Rocky has earned his Drago's respect, but Drago is still an inhuman machine who will cheat to win and is fighting for an evil empire.

Can you tell who's who in my scenario? I'm trying my best to obscure the metaphor.

P.S. My friend, who supports Barack, put it best. He said, "I can't believe Barack is doing so well, and yet, I am still incredibly disappointed."

P.P.S. Dammit, I love YouTube!

One of the unexpected benefits(?) of having a show about racism!

2008-02-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

One of the benefits (benefits?) of having a show about Racism ---

The W. Kamau Bell Curve at The JCC East Bay March 1st & 2nd tickets still available.

--- is that people who see the show end up sending me anecdotes and examples of racist things they have encountered since seeing the show.

I have received an assortment of racism... like a See's Candy Box (or Fanny Mae Candy Box, if you're from The Midwest).

My favorite was the unfortunate story of "The Time That I was Playing Scrabble Online and The Highest Scoring Play Was The Word Nigger" by Brian Rosen (white guy). I'm a big time Scrabble player and I would have played it. Brian didn't. I think THAT is racist.

But many of them are just racist jokes or inappropriate comments or things that make you go, "Ugh!"

But this latest one, texted to me from my good friend and fake manager takes the racist cake...

Drum roll please....

There is a bad of four white guys from Atlanta Georgia called....

The Black Lips.

Don't believe me? here's their MySpace page. Here's their blog. And here's their Wikipedia Entry.

This just where racism turns the page into absolute stoopidity. Of all the names to name your stupid indie band, WHY "The Black Lips"? Cuz you're soooooooooo cooooooooooool that it's clearly meant to be ironic?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!
*said like Steve Martin's classic catchphrase "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"

If I was 10% less full of shit I wouldn't just tell jokes about this shit, I would pull a Doobie Brothers and TAKE IT TO THE STREETS!

Are they a good band? Find out for yourself...

P.S. I don't even have a Wikipedia Entry. Hint. Hint.

P.P.S. The Black Lips are playing for free at Amoeba Records on Friday. I have half a mind to... nevermind.

Everyday Puff Daddy works hard to make up stuff that we ALL want...

2008-02-05T00:36:00.000-08:00

He may have finally done it. I know he did it on purpose. But he may have invented the next catchphrase to sweep the nation and he is generously giving it to us for free on the second episode of Making The Band 4, my current guilty pleasure show.

Here it is... And I don't need to tell you what the phrase is. It's pretty obvious the phrase that P Tastic wants us all to repeat...

Do you have IT in YOU?

It ain't Gatorade. It's from the makers of Haterade.

And more importantly... Would you buy it on OFFICIALLY LICENSED Bad Boy Merchandise?

The Siskel & Negro Podcast

2008-02-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

Here is the latest episode of the podcast that me and my soon to be former roommate Kevin Avery. During the day we are mild mannered comedians and over the Internet we (plus Katherine P. MacMurphy) are a kick in the nuts of Hollywood...

Siskel & Negro

If you've never listened to us. Do yourselves (& us) a favor. Check it out and let me (& RooftopComedy.com) know what you think.

This taking over the world that I'm doing is a multi-layered, multi-level process.

Hop on board.

Another Awkward Eulogy...

2008-02-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

While Texas Tech coach, Bobby Knight isn't exactly dead. He did exactly resign from his job today. This goes right up there with Ike Turner's death for... Where exactly do I catalog this in my head?

While both Ike and Bobby made HUUUUUUUUUGE contributions to their respective fields --- Bobby Knight as a Hall of Fame college basketball coach who has the record for the most wins in Division I NCAA Men's Basketball (902) and Ike Turner as one of the inventors of Rock & Roll (if you don't know check out the seminal track Rocket '88), both men have left a murky legacy. Both made historic talent discoveries: Bobby with two time NBA World Champion and Hall of Famer, Isaiah Thomas and Ike with of course Rock and Roll Legend (That's right I said ROCK & ROLL legend!) Tina Turner. However, both also have reputation for... well... How do I say this?... GOING UPSIDE THEIR PEOPLE'S HEADS!

This is such a sticky wicket. My friend Martha won't listen to Miles Davis because of his ADMITTED history of domestic violence. This is completely understandable. However my mom knows the same stuff about him and continues to listen. And I guess that is also completely understandable. Both my mom and Martha are strong independent women who don't make decisions like this without thinking. Where does the artist end and the person begin? And if the the person is a dick ("Dick" meaning abuser of women in Ike & Miles cases or boys in Bobby Knight & *insert Michael Jackson joke here* cases.), but what if their art is revolutionary? In modern society there is no way to not know what a celebrity's every move is But back in the day nobody knew nothing about Babe Ruth except that he hit the ball real hard and far.

Which is better? Which is worst?

I guess what I'm trying to say to Bobby Knight and Ike Turner is...

"Congratulations???"

&

"Rest in peace???"

P.S. The record for the most wins in Division I NCAA Basketball is held by Pat Summitt with 966 and counting. All the wins are with The Tennessee WOMEN'S basketball team. And she never hit nobody.

Maybe I'll actually buy a CD of NEW music for a change

2008-02-03T22:45:00.000-08:00

This post is MOSTLY for my best friend, Jason.

The following was cut and pasted from The Relix site...
---
"Galactic drummer Stanton Moore has recently completed a series of studio sessions with Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello and rapper Boots Riley. The unlikely trio are scheduled to release the project under the name the Street Sweeper via Epic Records this spring. As first reported by New Orleans’ The Times-Picayune, Moore first met Morello at a November 2006 Future of Music Coalition benefit concert held at Tipitina's and the new friends first bonded while standing at the bar of Ernie K-Doe's Mother-in-Law Lounge. Meanwhile, Boots Riley is one of the many MCs who appeared on Galactic’s 2007 hip-hop disc, From the Corner to the Block.

Morello recently reunited with his Rage Against the Machine bandmates for a series of shows, including an appearance at October’s Vegoose (an event which is co-produced by Galactic managers Superfly Presents). The guitarist also performed at Bonnaroo as The Nightwatchman."
---

Jason constantly promotes The Coup in much the same way in high school he promoted The Grateful Dead, Frank Zappa, and... Well, I guess that was pretty much it. Much in the same way in high school I promoted... Well, pretty much just Bruce Lee. Anyway we both agreed on Rage Against The Machine, although I'm sure that they are not ranked on his best bands of all time list. (They are ranked on mine.) And I'm sure we both agreed that Audioslave SUUUUUUUUCKED... although I don't think we discussed it... not necessary. So this sounds cool... Although that was the same thing I thought when I heard about Audioslave. The adult contemporary Rock & Roll of Audioslave was sooooooooooo milquetoast that it convinced me that Rage's rage was really just Zack de la Rocha. Well, Boots Riley is certainly pissed off so this could be grrrrrrrrreat.

Although I am still holding out hope for a new Rage CD... Crap.

P.S. I do like the name Street Sweeper. I always thought that Audioslave was a horrible name for a band that had a history of members who were uber political.. Why would you want the word "slave" in your name?

P.P.S. Fine. My list of most greatest bands/musicians of all time in no order, because that would be stupid... and too difficult.

Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane, Rage Against The Machine, Living Colour, Fishbone, 24-7 Spyz, Urban Dance Squad

P.P.P.S.

Now if Morgan Freeman was a Scientologist...

2008-01-31T12:25:00.000-08:00

I would at LEAST give it some consideration.

Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, just gave $10 million dollars (US) to The Church of Scientology.

That's right.

Bart Simpson is a Scientologist.

Which brings up a bigger point. There is no celebrity who is a Scientologist that I am impressed by. And by that I mean. There are no celebrity Scientologists who I think are that intelligent OR self-reflective OR interesting.

Here is a List of Celebrity Scientologists. I know the fact that the list is from Wikipedia makes this completely UNscientific... much like Scientology.

Now admittedly, there are some notable names on there. But I really think you have to discount any musicians. (Beck, Chick Corea, Issac Hayes, Doug E. Fresh... DOUG E. FRESH?) Everybody knows musicians are crazy. It's why the music is so good. Also you have to discount anybody who was raised a Scientologist (Again, Beck, Giovanni Ribisi). I have many people in my life who were raised Catholic and I don't judge them. it's not their fault.

After that the list is a mixed bag of C-List Actors and C Minus List Actors and "Who the hell is that?"

Where's Samuel L. Jackson? Harrison Ford? Alec Baldwin? Oprah Winfrey? Hell, if Charles Barkley said he was a member, I'd at least read the pamphlet... maybe I'd even hold those two metal rods to find out how I am broken. BUUUUUUUUUUT none of those people are Scientologists. Their two big names are Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Both of whom I think are decent to pretty good actors, and both of whom I've never heard speak and thought, "Man... This dude is really on to something."

I also feel the same way about the Evangelical Christian movement and their celebrities: Stephen Baldwin... Kirk Cameron...

And now a reading from The Book of Crazy by Tom Cruise, himself... (Thanks to Jeremy Townsend from theghet.com for reminding me of this.)

P.S. Free Katie Holmes!
P.P.S Do yourself a favor and spend sometime watching videos at Kirk Cameron's website. Specifically the one on proof of God. It's is truly the best in Alternative Comedy.
P.P.P.S. There's NOTHING worse than Christian Hip Hop.

If Hip Hop is dead...

2008-01-31T12:09:00.000-08:00

I know who killed it.

If Originality is dead...

2008-01-31T00:47:00.000-08:00

then I know who killed it.

Phase Two of The W. Kamau Bell Curve Begins...

2008-01-31T00:04:00.000-08:00

I know. It seems like phase one just ended, but that's how numbers work. They follow each other in an order that was predetermined, and NOW we're ready for phase TWO!

The W. Kamau Bell Curve
w/ Guitarist Paul E. Hunt & Conjure
March 1st & 2nd
@ The East Bay Jewish Community Center

We're going ALL OUT for the the these two shows. I'm really excited and honored to be able to do this shows at THIS place. When I began putting "The Curve" (as we've begun calling it) together, I sincerely hoped it would open doors for me in ways that stand-up has not, and performing in a JCC is CERTAINLY that kind of door. Years ago I saw Eric Bogosian perform his greatest hits show (which was called "The Worst of Bogosian") at The Marin JCC. Since then I have attended many events at The SF JCC. (Have you seen that building? It is AMAAAAAZING. It's like a space ship landed.) I even performed in the SF JCC on Heather Gold's Talk Show.

I just love the fact that the show is already in it's short life being done in a venue that is outside the comedy box. I LOVE stand-up comedy, but it feels great to stretch my wings.

So I need all my East Bay people to come out and support. My roots in the Bay Area began more than ten years ago in Oakland. I lived on Jean Street off Grand Avenue... Arlington off of MLK (which was the only time in my life I thought I might die)... and finally I lived in downtown Oakland at (location held by request of the people it would incriminate). (Also I basically lived in Rockridge at my girlfriend Melissa's house, where I earned honorary 5th roommate status.) My first day job in the Bay Area was at a now defunct CAL school supply and clothing store called Ned's Den. It was located on Bancroft near Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley. in The Well's Fargo Building and people always thought it was a deli. Every girlfriend that I have had in the Bay Area lived in Oakland. (OK, one moved here with me but STILL!)

All I'm saying is that my East Bay credit is GOOOOOOOOOOOD. So it's time to redeem it for cash, prizes, and great diverse audiences.

As always, BRING A FRIEND OF A DIFFERENT RACE & GET IN 2FOR1.

A CLASSIC Myspace blog Vol. 1

2008-01-30T01:20:00.000-08:00

Occasionally, I will repost blogs from over on my MySpace page as way to insure that nay new readers over here get to further witness how far back my genius goes... and Also to fill prevent them getting deleted from Myspace's stoopid blogging program.

Anyway enjoy this CLASSIC WKB MISSIVE from May, 2007. Ahhhh, the country was so much younger then.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Nigga please! Seriously. Please, nigga please!
Current mood: thirsty
Category: Blogging

So now Def Jam CEO and Orignal Buddhist Gangsta, Russell Simmons, has jumped on the acceptable language bandwagon. Now although the media is trying to make it seem like Simmons is advocating the banning of the words 'ho', 'bitch' and, 'nigger' completely, from what I can tell he is only saying that these words shouldn't be on the radio. I have no problem with that. And if I thought about it, there would probably be many things that I would like banned from radio like any bands whose names sounds like a bad accident... Panic At The Disco, Arcade Fire, Fall Out Boy, Ashlee Simpson. Thankfully my iPod has made thoughts of radio unnecessary.

All praises due to Steve Jobs.

But anyway, I'm gonna go on record (or whatever the Internet records rambling rants on) as saying I am actually fine with the absolute banning of the word that is ultimately at the center of all these problems.

'NIGGER'

Let's not be coy. 'Ho' and 'bitch' and any other slur of your choice is nowhere near as offensive in the wrong context... (Or is it the right context?) Not even the word 'cunt' is as offensive as the word 'nigger'..

Interestingly enough, my computer is telling me that 'cunt' is not a word.

Apparently... it's just an ex-girlfriend who lives in downtown Oakland.

HI-OOOOOOOOO!

Cue the Johnny Carson theme music.

Trust me. If a male comic calls an unruly female audience member a 'cunt' laughter will ensue, but if a white comic calls an unruly black audience member a 'nigger', the room suddenly turns into a Kramer-torium.

So, if it is truly for the betterment of society, then I am all for the ending of the 'N' word. (Say it out loud. It sounds cool... "ending of the 'N' word.)

I am all for getting rid of "nigger' in every scenario (music, television, comedy, conversations with my mom). Yup, I'm all for the elimination of that word in every way.

Except one...

Nigger please!

Or as it is normally spoken, "Nigga please!"

As far as I'm concerned that is the most hilarious expression in the English language. Just say it to yourself right now... Come on. Do it.... You have permission.

NIgga please.

Nigga pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

NIGGA PUHLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!

Ain't it fun?

It just rolls of the tongue. I swear to you that there's no idiomatic phrase that expresses incredulity as effectively.

Not "What did you say?" or "Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?" or "What you talking about, Willis?"

Not even "Nigger what?" (or as pronounced "Nigga whuuuuuuuuut?) I think it doesn't work as well because it is a question, not a call to action like "Nigga please."

I'm even okay with people of all ethnicities using it. It could be kinda like a meeting ground for all of society. Let's face it. Both black and white people (and yellow and brown people want to say 'nigger'. (You know, I've never heard a native American say 'nigger'. Maybe they feel like they have enough problems.) If all these people want to say 'nigger', let's just contextualize it a little. 'Nigga please' is like giving training wheels to the word 'nigger'. It helps us all keep our balance a little bit when we drop an 'n bomb'.

I think I first fell in love with 'nigga please' when I was 13 years old and rented (or had my stepmom rent...) the movie, "The Last Dragon" or as it is properly billed, "Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon" which is not to be confused with "Berry Gordy's..." umm... Berry Gordy's nothing else actually, as I believe it was the only movie that was produced by his record company, Motown. Okay, probably 'The Wiz', too.

Anyway, BG'sLD is a CLASSIC! It is the perfect storm: a combination Blaxploitation and Bruceploitation (That would be Bruce Lee exploitation for the novices. Wikipedia it.) It wasn't a hit... probably because it came out ten years too late to be relevant to either genre. And that's not it's only problem. Since it was produced by Motown, it has a soundtrack filled with Motown artists. Unfortunately since this was the mid eighties, instead of getting The Jackson 5, The Temptations, and Stevie Wonder, we get treated to De Barge, Some white woman who they clearly thought would be a blond Pat Benetar, and Stevie Wonder... ummm... 80's Stevie Wonder... and not even something as middle of Stevie's road as "I Just Called to Say I Love You." It's some song where the chorus is... "I have an upset stomach from a broken heart, a tear stained pillow from my crying eyes, and a migraine headache that just won't go awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..."

But on the upside, it co-stars Vanity. Yup, THAT Vanity. You may remember her in such other movies as 'Action Jackson' with Carl Weathers and "Oops, I Shoulda Done Purple Rain' with Apollonia.

In one of the movie's MANY classic moments, the villain, Sho'Nuff (the shogun of Harlem) challenges the hero, Bruce Leroy (That's right I said, "Bruce Leroy.") to a fight. And during the run up, Sho'Nuff says, "I'm tired of hearing tales of the WATAAH, legendary Bruce Leroy, catching bullets with his teeth. Catching BULLETS with his TEETH?!!! (Wait for it...) NIGGA PLEASE!"

Cut to a 13 year old Kamau literally hitting the floor... Okay, I don't know if I hit the floor, but I instantly knew that I had just heard one of the funniest things that I would EVER hear. But unfortunately since at the time I was living in Mobile, AL with my conservative father and stepmom and going to a nearly all white catholic school, there was little chance of 'nigga please' becoming a part of my regular lexicon.

Unrelated aside (Skip it if you wanna.)

The ultimately most sad part about this movie is that as AWESOME as the actor who played Bruce Leroy was. (He was credited with the one name, Taimak... It was the 80's after all.) He never really appeared in much again. Years later, I was watching an episode of 'A Different World' (as all middle class black kids were forced to do) and I realized suddenly, "HEY! I know who that date rapist is! It's Bruce Leroy!!! Run Whitley. RUN!!! He can catch bullets with his teeth!"

Unrelated aside over

So, if I'm gonna advocate the use of 'nigga please'. I should provide a tutorial to help you know how to drop in conversations most effectively.

Correct Use of 'Nigga please!"

1) "I think The Golden State Warriors have a legitimate shot to win a championship this year."

"Nigga please!"

2) "Hey man, could I hold like $20 until payday?"

"Dude, you already owe me $40! Nigga please!"

Incorrect Use of 'Nigga please!'

1) "Reverend Al Sharpton, could you pass the salt."

"No."

"Nigga pleeeeeeeeeease."

So there it is. Let's al just agree to only say the word 'nigger' if it is followed by the word 'please'..

Got it? Good.

Alright, so now that I've solved THAT whole problem, I'll move onto putting the section of the expressway in Oakland back in place.

If I was Michael, I would have forced him to play football.

2008-01-29T01:28:00.000-08:00

I hate to say that I saw this coming, but I did. I probably wasn't the only one who did. And I SWEAR that I DIDN'T want it to happen. I would have loved it if this story was one of the second coming of greatness... but it's not. I REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY hope he's smart.

I made one of the WORST decisions of my life Friday.

2008-01-28T22:48:00.000-08:00

I went to see the new Rambo movie... with my mom.

YIKES!

First of all, lemme 'splain.

I guess I got caught up in the hype. First of all there was this ridiculous trailer that appeared online a few months ago...

DISCLAIMER: Don't watch if you have weak stomach.

So, after being blown away by the "B" movie ridiculosity of this trailer I began to get on that "It's going to be soooooo bad, it'll be grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"

But then time passed, and my interest level waned, and then I started seeing these...

How come they made him look like Anthony Kiedis?

These posters are ALL OVER The Bay Area. And something about the idea that they (They being Stallone, I guess.) are trying to turn the biggest war mongering superhero of the 80's into a pretend graffiti campaign --- as if Rambo is a man of the people --- the idea of that struck me as sooooooooo funny that I thought, "I gotta see this."

And if you're going to see Rambo in the year 2008, you have to do it opening night.

I quickly put that aside when I realized that my mom and girlfriend. Melissa, would be in town (for my show and birthday), and I figured that there was NO WAY to convince them of that plan, birthday or not.

Well apparently, they REEEEEEEEALLY love me, because when my roommate Kevin strolled into my room Friday night and said he was going, both my mom and Melissa saw the lonely hound dog look in my eye and said... "OK, we'll go with you." (This was key because no other movie was playing at the same time that they wanted to see. DAMN YOU, MULTIPLEX! YOU PROMISED THAT WE WOULD HAVE MORE CHOICES THAN WE WOULD EVER NEED OR WANT! DAMN YOU!)

So we went to see Rambo.

Now, I know what you're thinking? "Rambo? Why is it just called Rambo? Isn't this like the 9th sequel?"

No. This is only the 3rd sequel. What you're doing is adding the number of Rocky movies (6) to the number of Rambo movies (4)... A common mistake.

And also this is the first one to be called simply Rambo --- Actually "Simply Rambo" would have been a good name too. --- Anyway, the first Rambo movie is actually titled "First Blood". It was based on a book about a American Vietnam War Veteran who when traveling through a small American town gets harassed by the local police and proceeds to... kill everybody.

Ok, not exactly Shakespeare... Actually, that IS eerily similar to many Shakespeare plots.

The book didn't have any sequels, but Hollywood always knows better. They didn't start calling these movies Rambo until the second one. And I guess this is an effort to go back to basics or something.

My review of the NEW Rambo... THANK GOD IT WAS ONLY 93 MINUTES!!!

I spent the bulk of that 93 minutes dividing my time among these activities...

1) Covering my mom's eyes. Not that she couldn't handle it, but I just felt bad being responsible for her taking this crap into her 70 year old system.

2) Trying to find some joy in a joyless movie. It's an action movie. Shouldn't somebody be having some fun?

3) Feeling sorry for the brown people in the film who had to be blown up and killed in ways that most special effects crews dream of. "Maybe we could have Rambo slice his stomach open, and then his intestines could fall out onto the ground?" This literally happened.

4) Wondering how come none of the Burmese bad guys in the movie actually got to have fully rounded out characters. They were just all EVIL. The leader of the bad guys, who had NO LINES, was even sooooooo evil that (HORROR OF ALL HORRORS!) he was gay... Or maybe the movie was just implying that he was a molester of young boys. I can't really be sure. I was too busy doing the next activity...

5) Pondering my life's choices and decisions. I'm 35 years old now (at least I was the day after the movie.) And it is time that I not waste time doing things like Rambo movies, when I could go see something equally violent but more thoughtful like "No Country For Old Men" OR "There Will Be Blood" or THIS GUY.

At some point at about around 5 minutes into this movie, I remembered, "Hey, wait a minute!.. I never liked the old Rambo movies. I was always a Schwartzenegger fan. When he ripped your arm off and beat you with it... it was supposed to be funny. Stallone wants you to take this stuff seriously. He says as much here in an article talking about making the movie...

"I was being accused, once again, of using the Third World as a Rambo victim. The Burmese are beautiful people. It's the military I am portraying as cruel,''

Well unfortunately Sly, it's hard to tell that you're on their side when you're the writer and director and you didn't give them one stinkin' line.

And now kids, we'll end with a reading from the Book of Hypocrisy. This is Stallone talking about his struggle to get the movie an "R" rating instead of an "NC-17" rating.

"This is full scale genocide. I want an 'R' and I want the violence in there because it is reality. It would be a whitewashing not to show what's over there,'' he told Associated Press "I think there is a story that needs to be told," Stallone said.

Yeah, Sly. There probably is a story about living in Burma that needs to be told. And it still does.

P.S. For the record the people in the 25% filled theater that I watched it with seemed to love it. One kid even cheered throughout.

P.P.S. Yes, they are already talking about a sequel. So, don't worry. We'll get to 9 sequels eventually.

P.P.PS. If they do make another sequel, I hope they get Anthony Kiedis to play to play Rambo.

The W. Kamau Bell Curve Ends Phase 1...

2008-01-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

So the last show of our once a month four show run at The Shelton Theater is over. And it was awesome. (And I'm not just saying that because it's MY show... Well, at least that is not the ONLY reason.) Since the December show, me and my newly added director, Martha Rynberg, worked really hard to script the show and make sure the message was CLEAR (also we worked hard to make it hilarious-er). And as a result the show was smoother and more on point than ever before. It still feels likes a work in progress, but last night was truly special and. It was another packed house of receptive and racially diverse people (many who were stealing my money through our " Bring a Friend of a Different Race & Get in 2For1" promo) And something happened last night that has never happened to me in my entire more than decade long comedy career... I got a standing ovation. Yikes.

Also, my mom, Janet Cheatham Bell, flew in from Bloomington, Indiana to see the show. That was AWESOME! Although, I forgot to introduce her (along with my director and several other people) and the end of the show to the audience... which was totally thr opposite of awesome.

Anyway, I want to use this blog as a way to thank many of the people who worked hard on this run of the show. These people were there for every show, most donating their time & skills, and without them, I would have just been a crazy guy, ranting in an empty theater, in the dark talking about, "I swear it's true! I read it on the Internet!"

In no particular order other than psychological...

My Producers and friends Bruce Pachtman and Lisa Marie Rollins
My friend Danielle "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." Hoffman
My graphic designer and friend Lee "So, you need this tomorrow. right?" Hahn
My friend and Chief Transportation Engineer and Superior Supporter, Jenny J. Johnson
Paul E. Hunt and the MANY Musicians of Conjure who graced the stage and raised the bar every show
My Future Star of The World, Friend, and DIRECTOR Martha Rynberg

Special shout out to Mike Paunovich & Webec Faulkner for filming and to Adam "Why haven't you gotten more of my brilliant photos of you in the papers?" Davis fo rnot only taking all the press photos but also for showing up and shooting LIVE!

Also, thanks to Hiya Swanhuyser at The SF Weekly, Kimberly Chun at The SF Bay Guardian, and Reyhan Harmanci at The SF Chronicle who all wrote incredible pieces on me and the show.

And finally (and maybe mostly) THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SHOWED UP and wanted to see what this dude was up to with this crazy thing.

And the awesome news is that THE CURVE will be BACK March 1st & 2nd at The East Bay Jewish Community Center. The Curve will live ON and ON and ON and ON and...
The Love of My Life Melissa "Maloops" Hudson

ME in The SF BAY GUARDIAN

2008-01-23T00:52:00.000-08:00

Check this out. WOW! All props due to Kimberly Chun

See it online HERE!

Oops! They did it again

W. Kamau Bell takes his swing at racism

BY KIMBERLY CHUN

Wednesday January 23, 2008

The best comedians always shear close to the bone with their truths, but believe it or not, few are necessarily a gut bust in conversation. Why is this a surprise? After all, the comic is on the interviewer's mic, not on the clock and on script. Yet W. Kamau Bell plays against type and comes with not only the insights you wish you had spewed first but also the wit, centered on the issues of race that he's been grappling with since childhood.

The rising incidence of racist cracks that reveal the persistent fissures in a country seemingly disinterested in identity politics — and those emerging from the 34-year-old San Franciscan's own milieu, the alternative comedy scene — has led Bell to sharpen his attack with The W. Kamau Bell Curve, which focuses on the ugly slurs spilling from Sarah Silverman, Michael Richards, and Rosie O'Donnell, as well as other, unexpected quarters. And the nastiness keeps coming — cue Golf Channel commentator Kelly Tilghman's recent remark that young players who want to defeat Tiger Woods would need to "lynch him in a back alley" — and spurring Bell to continue updating the show he first performed in October 2007.

According to Bell, racism is on the comeback trail with a crucial difference: "This time it's coming from liberals and creeping in through pop culture in some weird way. I call it political correctness acid reflux. People are just burping out racism." The comic rose to the occasion to make Bell Curve after reading a story about Southern blackface comic Shirley Q. Liquor in Rolling Stone. He was outraged by the fact that the article even questioned whether the Liquor act was racist, much as he was troubled by the things coming from his own field. "It's, like, wait a minute — this is my industry, and again, it's not coming from redneck comics or blue-collar comics. It's coming from alternative comics who are supposed to be liberal comics.

"It's, like, 'Look, you know I like black people, so it's allegedly OK for me to use a joke with the word nigger in it' — even though there's no black people in the audience and you don't have any black friends!" he continues. "Like I say in the show, the most racist things that have ever happened to me have come from people who were friends of mine. I had a friend who once said to me, 'Kamau, I like you. You're black, but you're not black black.' What does that mean? I'm black but you still have your wallet?"

The only child of author Janet Cheatham Bell, Bell is all too familiar with that kind of chum, having moved from private to public to private school throughout his life. "A lot of times I would be the only black person in school," recalls Bell, who now teaches solo performance at the Shelton Theater and frequently opens for Dave Chappelle. "And when you're that person, either they forget you're black, so things happen and you're, like, [in a meek squeak] 'Wait a minute — don't forget I'm black, everybody,' or because you're black they unburden their, you know, 'Kamau, lemme tell you something about black people I've never been able to tell any other black person.' Oooh, please don't!"

Be glad, however, that Bell is telling us about it all.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

2008-01-21T14:49:00.000-08:00

Ugh.